Puff Puff Puff. This is what I've been doing for the past 10 years.
I smoke about 10 sticks a day, everyday. Most of you would now be thinking ... "What are you doing to your body??!!" "Do you know smoking kills??" "Do you know you'll die younger??" ... and the 'questions' and reprimand goes on and on.
Yes. I know Smoking kills. I know eating fried foods might result in colon cancer in the later years. I know eating fast food or growing overweight will increase the chances of heart attacks. I know not exercising will make your body weak and susceptible to illnesses. I know there are ten thousand and one things that can kill you the very next moment.
I sound like I'm in denial arn't I. Yup, I guess I might be. . . But you see, I grew up in a very liberal household *think Ang Moh upbringing*. I was never caught smoking - simply cos I told my parents about it the same day I started. And all they said were "Ok, but don't smoke too much, not good for the body." That's how much freedom my parents gave to their children. I've never met any other parent capable of doing what they do. To allow us freedom, yet still love and guide us along through life as they did. I'll tell you all about them in another post.
Back to the cigarettes . . . I've tried to quit 3 times through these years. The longest I've lasted was 4 months before I started again due to stress from taking my exams. The first 3 were done 'Cold-Turkey' style. I was having shivers, nose dripping, constant headaches, short-tempers, and totally irritable in the first few days.
And now comes the 4th attempt. Unlike the first 3 attempts which were done voluntarily, this attempt is done in part for someone else. In part because eventually it is for my own selfish happiness too. And I think I have a good feeling about this attempt. I didn't have anyone to push me along the first 3 times. However, now I have a purpose to quit. And I truly hope that purpose is enough to push me through.
I'm gonna cut down slowly, bit by bit. The first target now is to drop to 6 sticks a day. I really hope I'll make it. For a better tomorrow for myself, I truly, sincerely hope so. . .
" Puff Puff Puff,
The cigarette fills the air with smoke,
My lungs cringes at the black stuff,
Til I eventually choke.
My heart longs for it to end,
To bridge this long dark gap,
My world wants a new bend,
To end with a triumphant clap. "
-- Pokpok, 2 Aug 07
Puff, Puff, Puff
*Smoking kills*
