2008 : A New Year, a New Set of Resolutions

Only 3 more days to the New Year. And here I go again making a list of stuff I need to accomplish in the coming year, and most probably not completing them all. Hahaha, I think it's pretty much the same for everyone else. So let us go ahead now and make a list.

1) Quit Smoking

This has to be the most important and urgent one of all, bar none. 2008 would already be the best year even if this is the only one I accomplish. There are just so much good that would come about if I complete this.

2) Exercise more

I really need to tone up my body. No one likes a lumpy "old" man with a big tummy. Just need to start doing more push ups and crunches.

3) Wake up earlier for work

I am making a stand against Pillow and Blankey! The every morning cuddle-fest has to stop!

Short list, but then it's easier to get something done. I can't understand people who have a hundred items on their list . . . then grumble that they didn't complete any of them. I prefer to keep it short and simple.

My Little Quirks

Everyone has their little thing they do which may not be 'normal'. Some like to dig their nose while on a bus ride. Others like to eat all the vegetables on their plate before touching anything else. Small things that go unnoticed most of the time.

We do it out of habit, comfort or just plain ignorance. I have a few of my own. There may be more, but I've not catch on to them yet.

Rubbing the in-steps of my toes while putting on my socks
This is a hard one to describe. For as long as I can remember, I would rub my sock along the contours of my toes before I pull it in. Hmmm, that's as best as I can word it. You have to see it to really know how it goes.

I've always tried to do it while others are not looking, fearing their laughter at how silly it looked. I get this sense of comfort whenever I do it and when I don't, I feel uneasy in my toes . . . like as if there are piles of dirt stuck inbetween my toes. I guess it's one of those habitual comfort thing that kids do, but I've not outgrown it to this day.

Rubbing my mini bolster's string end in my ear
Bolster cases have strings at its end so you can tie it close and keep the cushion in it. I would curl the string up into a nice bundle and rub it into my ear. It felt so comfortable and puts me in such an entranced state that I'll fall soundly to sleep.

It went on forever till the day my Mum took that bolster away. The day I 'lost' my comfort bolster was a total shock to me. I felt so lost, so irritated that I couldn't sleep the entire night. It was like losing an addiction and going cold turkey. I'm sure I had shed a few tears for my beloved bolster.

It has been many years since I lost that bolster. But till today, I can still remember that sense of calmness and tranquility of rubbing my ears. Oh bolster . . . I miss you so . . .

Squat Toilets
Yes. You read it right. Squat Toilets.

For 20 over years, I have only known to use squat toilets. Whenever I tried a sitting bowl, my 'load' just refuses to come out. Whenever I went to a toilet that didn't have squatting cubicles, I'll climb onto a sitting bowl and squat on it instead of sitting. My body just reacts to my position when I tried to 'pass motion'. It's so pronounced that my decision to take up a job or not depended on whether the office toilet had a squatting cubicle or not.

It was only recently that I've 'learned' to use a sitting cubicle. I was forced into it actually, because my current office doesn't have squats. Imagine learning how to wipe your butt while sitting, for the first time, at my age . . .

This has to be one of my most embarrassing and awkward quirks. Something which I've told no one before now. Laugh all you want, at least I dare to admit it.

Hmmm, these are the 3 I can remember off the top of my head now. There may be more as I chance upon them.

So . . . what's your little quirks?

The place I discovered Maki

I've actually forgetten the place I discovered the goodness of Maki-s. It's only a month or two ago that I tried my first one and fell in love with it.

We went to Sushi Teh again on Friday. Huge meal with a Seafood Ramen special for two, the staple Sashimi Salad, a Ebi (Eel) Maki and a Mackerel. This was the 3rd time I've had Maki and boy it was good. But something was missing. It doesn't have that oomph which I felt the first time I tried one. Hmmm, was I being picky?

Then yesterday we went to the Shinkushiya outlet at Vivocity. We had a salad with some small dried fish (the exotic name eludes me), Curry Fried Rice, 6 types of Barbecue sticks, a Blowfish (damn small for its price), and a Smoked Salmon with Tempura Prawn Maki.

There . . . Found it!! That taste, that texture, that smell. Ahhhh amazing! The rainbow of tastes that follow as you put a Maki into your mouth. Heavenly! It's like Remy (the rat from Ratatouille) getting a taste of French cuisine . . . fireworks in your heart! You have to try it to know how good it is. And only try the one at Shinkushiya. You won't regret it. The thing I'm guessing that makes their Maki so good is the rice. It's more fragrant and compact, like getting a ocean in a bite rather than a pond.

Well we are definitely going back for more Maki-goodness hehehehe.

P.S. I kinda prefer the outlet at Far East Square. It's more cosy and comfortable with ample booth seats. Plus lesser crowds haha (I'm anti-social if you didn't know yet). I have to compliment the scenic view at the Vivocity one though, but you have to be lucky and get a window seat to enjoy it.

Where has Poetical Pokpok gone?

Poetical Pokpok has been hijacked. I haven't seen him for the last month. I wondered who would do such a cruel thing.

Words just stopped popping into my head. Nothing rhymes at all. Is this what they call, a "writer's block"? It used to be that words freely come into my head, in beautiful lyrical verses and I'll just pick and choose the ones I like to use.

Now, zip, nothing, nada. Only thing that comes to my mind is, "Buy my car yah, buy my car, la~la~la~, buy my car and go far far. See this rims ah, they're so shining, don't worry cause we'll throw them in for free!"

Damn silly radio commercial keeps ringing in my head. Bah! It's been a month since they stopped this advertisement on radio but I still remember it. Curse the creative directors that came up with that jingle!

Hopefully, Pokpok's poetic hiatus does not last too long.

Arghhh . . . I'm like a secondary school boy now . . .

Darn it . . . this is what happens when you nap on a saloon chair.

I went to the neighbourhood saloon on Sunday. Vincent Daniel. Classy name yeah? Not your typical barber. I told the lady, "Short on the side", while brushing my hand through the side of my head. And then I made the mistake of dozing off. . .

Imagine the shock when I woke up to find my new hairdo. She must have used a razor to run through the entire side and back of my head. Even the hair on top have been thinned till you can see the skin at some angles . . .

One of my collegue was saying, "You must have been nodding in your sleep when she ask if you want it shorter." . . . Ouch, salt on my wounds.

Oh well, I'll just have to tough it out till my hair grows to a respectable length again.

"It is my Destiny . . . !!"

I have just finished season 1 of Heros. It's this 'new' TV serial about "ordinary people with extraordinary powers". The next evolution of mankind. Think X-men and you'll kinda get an idea of what these series is about.

I borrowed season 1 from a friend sometime last week, but only found time to start last Friday night. Once I started though, bam! I was hooked. Welcome Marathon Session! I started at about 10pm and only stopped at 4am when my eyelids refused to open. Then woke up at 11am and continued till about 4pm Saturday. Hahahaha, this is one of the most addictive and intriguing tv show I've watched in a long long time.

I especially like Hiro Nakamura. He is this quirky non-conformist Japanese character who has the power to bend space time equilibrium to stop time or teleport. Unlike those invincible X-men that goes about saving the world at every turn, Hiro is just a simple person. He trys to find out the meaning of his powers, his purpose, his mission. His character feels so . . . . human.

Maybe it's our nature to want to be special. To be adored, loved, noticed. Everything that the many protagonist in the show are feeling. They have such wonderful and amazing powers, yet they are so vulnerable and weak. They are like the everyday person, yet their lives are 'special'. And I guess that's why we get addicted to it, because we associate our fears, our needs, our dreams with the characters. They show us that no matter how mundane our lives are, we can dream to be the special ones.

Of all places . . .

Hmmm, how to I put this . . . Well you see . . . Ummm . . . Eh . . . I had a shot of immense pain at a place near my crotch . . .

Ouch ouch ouch! What the hell! Where is that pain coming from! My head went straight to the source. It's dark down there so I couldn't really see it. As I turned about to get the light there, I found this patch of skin, or should I say, lack of skin.

Huh? How did I get an abrasion there . . . Hmmm . . . only logical reason must be that I didn't wore my briefs properly. Must have caught 'it' somehow haha. Oh well, another few more days of jumping about in the shower and it'll be back to normal.

Smooth . . .

I was getting a drink during the break from classes on Sunday and decided to check out Mc Cafe. Everytime I would just go straight for the reliable Latte. However I wanted something cold this time as there wasn't any aircon in the classroom. So I ordered their Mango Smoothie.

I was expecting a mango flavoured soft drink, so it caught me by surprised when I took my first sip. The first thought that came to me was "Hey, isn't this the same texture as the old Mac Donald's milkshake back in the early nighties?"

For those that were not fortunate enough to try the milkshake back in the 90s before they took it off the menu, milkshake back then tasted so much better than it is now. Now, it's like drinking cream. Soft and smooth but its texture is like melted icecream, Yuck . . . Milkshake of the 90s were a little different. It was icy-er, where you can feel and bite tiny minute bits of ice with every sip, and it was not as sweet as it is now. Seriously, you have never tasted a good milkshake till you tried the one they sold back then. Period.

So it seemed they haven't forgotten how to make the icy-er milkshake. Hmmm, oh well I'll just have it now in mango flavour then. I'm already delighted that I could get a drink with the 90s milkshake feeling so I'm not complaining.

For any Mac Donalds staff that happens to read this : Bring back the 90s Milkshake! The milkshake that you sell now just doesn't cut it! Plain and simple. Too sweet, too soft, too much like whipped cream, basically . . . yucky! You haven't lost the 'touch' to make it. So just bring it back, I'll be glad to pay a dollar more just to get my 90s Milkshake again. *wink wink

I love Japanese food

I love it. Don't really know why. Maybe it's the asian palate. We have more inclination to less meaty foods, prefering rice, fish and greens. I do like my meats but not where an entire meal consist solely of red meats. I am a nut for salads though. Sometimes, judging the difference between a good and a bad japanese restaurant rest solely on your selection of salads. Not a very impartial criteria considering salads are not what japanese are known for, but well I like my salads and it's all that matters. Heheh.

My girlfriend and I have been trying out several restaurants recently. Here is a sample of those we have tried:

1) Tampopo
Located in the basement of Liang Court Shopping Centre, this is our favourite restaurant at the moment. We have been to this restaurant maybe 4-5 times in the last few months. This is a regular japanese restaurants with your usual staple of sashimi, bentos, udon, ramen, sushi, maki etc. We usually come here for the Black Pork Ramen, which is the house speciality. It has a nice cozy atmosphere which always sits well with guests. Salads here are pretty non-existant but the ramen more than makes up for it. Prices for a meal are pretty reasonable, our meals usually costing about 40-50 dollars. Special note: The green tea might taste like fish tank water on some occasions. =P

2) Shinkushiya
We discovered this restaurant in the past month and already ate there twice. This comes a very close second (think paper thin) to Tampopo in my opinion, losing out only because they do not have one of my favourite dish, Ramen. However, this place specialises in grilled foods served in bite size sticks. There is an ample selection of chicken, pork, beef, seafood and vegetable variants, enough to have you taking 20-30 minutes to decide which ones you want. We've only been to the outlet at Far East Square, but we have been impressed enough to give it our vote even though we have not tried the one at Vivocity. It has a very nice, cozy ambience, with the most booth seats we've seen compared to other restaurants. There is also a decent salad menu, though we've only had the chance to try one. Pretty good I would say. Meals cost an average 40-50 as well, though we did spent about 80 last night because we ordered a sashimi platel for 2. Special note: Service here is pretty good. Staffs are friendly, attentive and refill your tea cups constantly.

3) Sushi Teh
I fell in love with this restaurant because of one dish, the Sashimi salad. Priced only at $8, it comes in a good portion enough for 2. It is littered with enough sashimi slices that you could almost taste a piece every bite. Well worth the money. If I was working anywhere near a Sushi Teh, I might just go there everyday and order the salad for lunch. We always go to the outlet at Far East Square. It's tucked away in the CBD area, so you don't get the crowds like you would in a normal shopping district. Meals cost between 30-40 here. Special Note: S-a-s-h-i-m-i S-a-l-a-d. Enough said.

4) Akashi
This is the outlet at Orchard. Touted to be a traditional japanese restaurant with reasonable price by our Japanese sensei. So we went and tried it. My honey ordered a prime cut sashimi bento set and I had a mixed cut sashimi and seafood bento set. My baby was pretty happy with her sashimi as it was very fresh. However overall I felt our meals weren't anything terrific. Plus the cost of the meal came up to 75, which was atrocious considering we only ordered 2 set meals. I have kinda mentally banned the place, due to the normal food to price ratio, poor service, crowds . . . it's in Orchard . . . can't expect much. Then again we have only been there once. There might have been a house special that we didn't get to try, but we'll never know. Special Note: They will charge 4 dollars for the little plate of beans, even if you didn't even touch them.

5) Sun and Moon
Outlet at Wheelock Place. Their speciality is the 'claypot' rice if I'm not mistaken. Well that's what we tried, ordering a chicken and a pork variant. They were pretty good and tasty. The meats were tender and succulant. However our meal was spoiled by a plate of foul weeds they tried to pass off as an edible salad . . . pure nastiness. I have banned this place as well hahahahah. Special Note: A cow or horse might like the vegetables they serve here. Are you a cow or a horse?

6) Waraku
We have been to the outlet at Marina Square a few times. Nice big booths enough to seat 6. I would say their hot pots are pretty tasty. Sadly they don't have ramen, only soba and udon . . . both of which does not appeal to me at all. Prices here are pretty reasonable though. I remember ordering a salad, tuna sashimi, prawn in cheese, sushi set and a udon set and it only came up to 40. I don't mind coming here again though I would try to avoid the weekends due to the crowds. Special Note: Waraku outlets have become very popular dining spots for couples and families, thus expect a long queue especially on the weekends.
Well that's as many as I could remember trying, or should I say . . . remember the name of the restaurant. There are other noteworthy places that are not restaurants, like the sushi bar at the Liang Court basement supermarket. But well, I'll leave that for another post.

Why I drive . . .

I never thought I would drive honestly. Not a car, a lorry, a cab, a motorbike or anything that has wheels. Which is why I never took my driving test till I was 24. My brother already got his car licence years ago when he was serving his army stint. And he has obtain 2 motorbike licences since then.

I did take up motorbike classes too, but it was short-lived. An army mate of mine got into a hit-and-run which fractured his jaw and elbows. He lost all his teeth, and had to survive on baby food for a good 3 months. He also had to make a trip to the National Dental Centre to wash his gums every other day. That blew the urge to ride a bike straight into oblivion.

An incident with my dad prompted my mum to pester me to get my class 3. It was a Sunday afternoon and my dad was having a sharp pain in his tummy. So bad that he was grimacing on the sofa. My brother had gone off for tennis practice and there was no one to bring him to the clinic. My mum had a licence but she hasn't drove in donkey years. So slowly my dad laboured his way to the car and drove to the clinic accompanied by me. It's not often you see my dad sulking in pain. His generation of male egos prohibits this display of agony. So he was truly in unbearable, overwhelming pain.

So we made it to the clinic and after the doctor had a look at him, she immediately called for an ambulance. The ambulance arrived to take him to the hospital and I was left on my own. I couldn't drive so I left the car and took a cab home. Had I have a licence, I would have speed him to the hospital straight away, and he wouldn't have to suffer the trip to the clinic.

So it was this that jolted my mum to hound me to get my licence. I tried all sorts of excuses to get away from it, but in the end I relented. Not so much because of my mum's nagging, but due to my inherent nature to fufil my duties as a son. A son is supposed to take care of their parents, the same as a parent would for their children.

I took a good year and half and 3 tries to get my licence. Hahahaha. First one was a straight failure when I mounted a curb in the circuit. Second try, I chalked up too many de-merit points. Third try was a charm. It was kinda basis though. The tester took me to a different route from the pre-planned one. He said before we left the circuit : "Now, Mr Pokpok. Please listen very carefully to my instructions and drive where I tell you to." So a planned left turn out of the school circuit became a right turn. We didn't do any u-turns or lane filtering on the 3 lane roads, nor any of the other items on the test score. My tester directed me to the small lanes and tour around slowly for a little while. We were back at the school circuit just 5 minutes later.

My tester took me back to the resting room and asked me : "Mr Pokpok. Do you think you are ready to drive on the road?" *ding!* A trick question! I looked intently into his eyes and replied : "Yes of course. There is no point for me to take any more lessons as I'm not learning anything new anymore. Only 'real' driving on the roads would help me be a better driver". And wala~! that was that. He gave me a quick smile and stamped his approval on my test scores.

No, I did not bribe my tester. No, he is not a relative or a distant uncle. No, I'm not chasing his daughters or their prospective boyfriend. And definitely, No, I am not a girl in tight skimpy mini skirt showing my legs! I had nothing to do with the "easy", "conspiracy ridden" test results. Hehehehehe. I was just a lucky fella getting some good hearted 'gift' that day.

So it's just fate that I'm driving today. A gathering of causes. =P

Oh the torture!

I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored. So bored that I was asking my assistants for invocies so I can help key them into SAP.

This is getting ridiculous. Why is there so little to do? It's becoming a drag to be in the office. Maybe I should request to convert to a part-time employee. But then again, how is it that the other supervisors are clocking so much overtime . . . Is there truly that much to do?

*Sigh* I'm leaving on the dot everyday because of this. This sucks. *Argh!!!!!!!*

Oh well, it's 17:45 now. Time to leave for home and go meet my meimei.

A Happy Puppy again！

Muhahahahha . . . the world is beautiful again! Well almost hehehe. Not right now though. . . my eyelids are half open and I'm close to falling into a subconcious trance.

My baby came back yesterday night. I rushed eagerly to the arrivals hall at Changi to await my Cinderella. Her flight touchdowned at midnight and she finally made it through customs forty minutes later. Ahhhhh what a glorious sight . . . my heart skipped a beat the moment I saw her. Oh my, that felt good. It's like being rejuvenated, like a butterfly raising from it's cocoon.

*Big wide unbashful smile*

So I'm constantly falling asleep at in the office right now. I'm on my 3rd cup of Latte . . . hmm or is it my 4th? Bah, I'm in a vegetated state of mind right now. Important thing was that I drove my honey home. I think I earned brownie points with her sister for that. I always thought that's what a boyfriend or husband should do. Apparently not . . . hehe so this 'nice gesture' brought added points to my scorecard. Every bit counts I guess.

I'm Bored . . .

Sigh. I'm currently writing this at work. Work . . . Verb/Noun.

1. exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something; labor; toil.
2. something on which exertion or labor is expended; a task or undertaking.
3. productive or operative activity.
(Note: Copyright of Dictionary.com)

What is it about work these days? Do we really accomplish anything? Or are we just doing something to pass time and wait for our monthly salary?

Before this current job, I was working in a 'well-known' Chinese owned computer manufacturer. My role was mainly to chase people for money. It's easy work, at least to me. Simple, no-brainer sort of thing. And there isn't much to do anyways. Half the time I would be surfing the net, chatting on MSN, taking smoke cum coffee breaks. There were days where I would surf from the moment I stepped into the office till I leave for home.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not the sort to laze around and neglect my tasks. Nor am I the type to "taichi" away everything that comes my way. I readily help out my colleques and followup closely on all my responsibilities. It's just that there is so little to do. Well for me that is. I don't really know what it is . . . my colleques looks like they have lots to do. I seriously don't get it. Where did they find all these work? Did I forget to do something? Or am I working too fast? Too efficient? Am I missing something that everyone knows to do??? I don't get it . . .

I have just changed to a new job recently. Right before I took this up my ex-manager called me up and offered me a position at a US MNC dealing in the same industry as my last. I have a ex-colleque there and she mentioned they wanted a graduate to take up an accountant position. They were specifically looking for one so they could meet a quota, given by our Government, to qualify for tax incentives. Wow, so what is the real intention to get me? Is it being there as a commodity to satisfy some tax requirement? Would I be doing real work or there to do duplicate and redundant duties? I gave it some thought and politely declined. I was looking for a place where I can do real work, a productive role, where I can accomplish something meaningful. I thought I had found it . . .

This week marks my confirmation in the new position. It's a supervisory role and they gave me a 15% raise. The first three months went pretty well. I had ample time to pick up my duties, understand the workings of the company, the daily tasks and important responsibilities.

But . . . they ban people from surfing net, from MSN, from everything else. They expect employees to go about their tasks diligently and efficiently. Overtime claims here are atrocious with some staff claiming 500+ hours since January. Wow, they must overwork people here. There must be a mountain of tasks left undone. People must be bleeding sweat and blood judging by the number of hours they work.

But wait a second, what is this I'm doing right now. Shouldn't I be up to my neck in work right now? Sigh . . . this new place is no better than my last. It's a US MNC in the luxury retail goods industry, employing about 200+ people in the Chai Chee office I'm in. They have another office at Claymore Hill, and retail shops in Orchard and Changi Airport. By my estimates, they employ close to about 800 people in Singapore. A big company that is grossly overstaffed. Why? My best guess is that our EDB (the statutory board that promotes economic expansion and growth) gave them an employment quota for tax incentives, much like what they gave to most MNCs that set up operations in Singapore.

On one hand I'm glad my government is creating jobs for the people, giving its citizens means of a livelihood. On the other hand, I'm sick of being in a job just for that. I want to be a useful person, to create wealth and produce quantifiable results. I want a job where I actually do work that creates something material. Not this, where I sit around waiting for time to pass, surfing the net, writing blog entries, counting down the hours on the clock before I can go off.

Maybe I'm just a sucker for punishment (if you can call work as that). I know many people would love to be in my position, to be paid to do nothing. Ohhhhh so many would glamour for it, just so they don't need to move a single ounce of their braincells.

What else can I say to ease my frustration? Nothing I guess. . . I'll still be here tomorrow. Maybe I'll write another rant and complain about whatever comes to mind, just so I can pass the day again. Oh well, at least this post took up 2 hours. 2 more to go before I can leave . . . *Sigh*.

I hurt . . .

My baby is still not back in my arms . . .

Her stay got extended, for no other reason than her manager saying "I don't feel comfortable with no one there". What is that? Don't feel comfortable? How about a whack to your head? Or rubbing chilli padi into your eyes? Now that would be uncomfortable.

We used to share the same manager. Tadada! so guess who this silly manager is? The Empress of Doom, the Bringer of Sandstorms, the Queen of the Apocalyse, the . . . U T T E R N O N S E N S E excuse for a human being, Ms G*lian Lim (read one of my previous post on her). Phew . . . that felt better, even if it's only for a second.

I've fallen very sick though. My mind is a blank. My heart hurts. My head dangles like a half broken branch, always looknig at the floor. My hair are dropping. My my . . . *sigh* . . . I'm love-sick.

Hope my darling gets to come back next Monday . . .

1 System 7, 1.50 Quick Pick . . .

I gamble religiously on Toto. Toto is a game where 7 numbers, 6 standard plus 1 bonus number, are drawn from a pool running from 1 to 45. The draws are done twice a week on Mondays and Thursdays. There are 3 category of prizes and consolations. Top prize start from 650,000 and snow-balls to the next draw if no one wins it.

Tempting for anyone isn't it. Imagine winning a snow-balled prize of a few million dollars . . . Bye bye office! Heeelllloooooo sunny beach and beautiful babes! Muhahahahaha. In my case, many many holidays with my honey and family, maybe a new car, renovation on the house etc etc. Aaahhhhh, so many things can be done with that sort of money. I share the same dream as everyone else - to strike it big and welcome the instant retirement.

But well it's not that easy to strike . . . I did a mathematical calculation once. 45 different numbers brings 8.4 million plus combinations. It is a draw of sheer luck. And that is what i'm banking on this past 10 years. That one day my lucky stars would be smiling down on me and let me strike Toto.

Well some of you must be thinking . . . "You silly bum . . . do you know how hard it is to strike?!" "You are throwing your money down the drain!" "Stop dreaming and be realistic!" . . . Well I'm still working diligently. I bring home the dough every month. It's not like I'm sitting around doing nothing but dreaming about striking. I just 'invest' a little in hopes of a better tomorrow heheheheh. It's buying hope, something to look forward to, something to dream about.

Hopefully one day that dream would come true. . .

" Roll and behold,

Seven magical numbers are shown,

A golden ticket is told,

But the winner remains unknown.

Could this be my moment,

I turn to mine and hope,

They look at me in bemusement,

My optimism starts to mope. "

-Pokpok, 12 Oct 2007

Toto, A Game of Chance

Please take care of yourself . . .

My girl has been getting gastric pains recently and it's still coming while she is in China. She has had this problem since young. Apparently her family has it too. But that's not the important thing here.

The important thing is knowing to take care of oneself. I have a colleque Nancy who has gastric problems as well. But she has learned to bring a packet of biscuits with her everywhere, to munch whenever she feels hungry. She also takes her meals timely everyday. She says these days she doesn't get the pains as often since she had started to watch over herself. I guess it's because she is a mother of a 3 year old boy. She has to look over someone, thus becoming more self-conscious of her own health as well. As she puts it, "I watch over myself so I can enjoy my life with my hubby and baby. If I fall sick, I feel pain. But they would hurt even more in their hearts."

I hope my girl can learn to take care of herself. I remember her telling me she skipped lunch yesterday. . . it hurts my heart to know that. It's like seeing someone destroying their life and yet there is nothing you can do to help. It's this sense of helplessness that drives me crazy. Work is only important if you have the health to enjoy your fruits of labour. What's the use of slogging when you would be lying in hospital because of it?

I really don't know what I can do or say to help her. She can only help herself. Much like how I can only quit smoking on my own will. I can only pray she becomes a big girl sooner. . .

" Like a baby in a craddle,

Raising her arms to the sky,

I help my baby across the puddle,

Hoping she will try.

There is only so far,

My body can carry her,

The paths are made of tar,

And I can't always be near. "

- Pokpok, 11 Oct 2007

One's path

I miss her so . . .

Damn'it . . . only 2 days and I'm already feeling the pain. Hmmm, am I being too sticky? I don't know. What I do know is I miss her. 5 more days . . . 120 hours . . 7200 minutes . . . 432000 seconds more to go. That's like an eternity when you miss someone . . .

Darn it hurts.

I'm going home for dinner now every night. Then off to Vanadiel to play with my Taru. I'm like a lifeless zombie now, walking with my head down. Oh, why can't the week go by faster . . .

" Where is your soul,

Your heart, your mind, your own,

You seem to be wandering,

Around the white desert alone.

Where is your soul,

Lost in a barren sea of cold,

You seem to be drifting,

To a land made of mold. "

- Pokpok, 09 October 2007

Decay

Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock . . .

I mentioned in a previous post about my Tarutaru in FFXI. They are truly cute creatures . . . yeah yeah it's a digital world . . . but just indulge me here. The most lovable thing about them, besides their big head, is that when they stand or sit they will sway from side to side. They are like those big head toys, heads rocking from left to right.

Recently I discovered my darling does that as well. Hehehehehe. And wala~! The term "Taru-ing" was coined. Whenever she stand or sit still, she will unknowingly taru. Like a little 5 year old girl swaying from side to side, immersed in her own beautiful world. I feel a warmth in my heart everytime I see her taru-ing, and would draw a quiet grin on my face.

" Swaying from side to side,

Rocking from left to right,

Constant as an ocean's tide,

Oh it's such a pleasing sight.

Watching my baby taru-ing,

My heart fills with such pride,

Whatever she is yearning,

I would gladly try to abide. "

- Pokpok, 08 October 2007

My Taru

Blankey, Blankey go away. . .

My baby left for China again yesterday. . . *sobz*. She would be there for a whole week (hopefully). So here I am alone, counting the days before I can see her angelic face again. I miss her already.

Her flight was in the morning at 11AM. So I had to wake up at 7AM in the morning even though I had slept at 3AM the night before. My baby called to give me a wake up call and as I laid in bed struggling to peel open my eyes, my inspiration hit me . . .

" Blankey . . . Oh Blankey,

Come again another day,

My baby's leaving,

For a land far far away.

I need to catch her today,

To show her my dismay,

To make up all the kisses,

Before my week of disarray.

Blankey . . . Oh Blankey,

Do you hear me pray,

My baby's waiting,

So please do as I say. "

- Pokpok, 08 October 2007

Blankey, my Baby

I have a standing joke about waking up in the morning. Although I always set my alarm clocks to 7AM, I can never get right up when they ring. I'll just bang them off and continue to snooze. Good thing though my honey always call to make sure I wake up heheh. Though I always have some sort of excuse hahaha "Honey, I can't get up, blankey is holding me captive . . ." "Honey, the sky is still so dark, why you call me at 4AM in the morning . . ." She says "Pokpok . . . pillow is covering your eyes again . . . that's why it's dark . . ."

So yesterday, I put in my most gallant effort and fought against Pillow and Blankey. I managed to wake up to send my baby to the airport and see her off. *Sigh* I hope this week breezes past quickly, so I can hear my darling's voice again every morning.

Let me out! Let me out!

A momentous life changing experience hit me 2 nights ago.

I was sending my baby home. We got onto the elevator and up to the 21st storey. As she was getting off, the doors suddenly close in on her. Luckily, it only caught her hand as she pulled away back into the elevator.

The elevator stalled and the doors refused to open again. It kept banging in the closing motion while an annoucement echoed in the elevator : " This is an emergency annoucement. For your own safety, please do not force open the door. . . ". Wow . . my very first elevator breakdown! Help! Help! Call the Police! the Fire department! the Special Task Force! the Army! Call the damn President!!!!

So there we were, stuck in the elevator. It had stopped on the 21st floor so we could peer through the windows to the corridor. My darling called the emergency number listed on the elevator wall and they said they would be coming soon (I had left my phone in the car ... so much for being the knight in shining armour).

We sat on the floor and waited, while listening to her ipod playing Scissor Sisters medleys. Hmm what's this feeling i'm getting . . .

" Stuck in a lift,

I banged desperately ,

Longing for the gift,

Of freedom and reprieve.

Where is my saviour,

To rescue me from the pits,

My maiden in shining armour,

Oh I'll love her to bits. "

- Pokpok, 04 Oct 2007

Fear of Heights

I have this fear of heights . . . Yes . . . it's not manly. But I can't help it. My head goes into dizzy spells and my hands start trembling. My mind would play tricks by imagining me falling off the edge to my death.

It was a good thing we could only see the corridor. But I still can't help it knowing we were on the 21st storey. What if the elevator grips start to give way? What if the steel ropes were suddenly cut? What if . . .? Phew . . . fortunately my mind didn't get to wander for too long. As I held onto my honey's hand, I felt a sense of comfort and relief. My maiden in shining armour . . . Hehehehe.

But this incident changed my life though. Ha! I'll never live in an apartment higher than 10 storeys, at least not till I conquer my mortal fear of heights . . . or maybe if my lady holds my hand always.

The Epitome of Stupidity

A strong description. The Epitome. The Pinnacle. The Summit. The Utmost.

Funny enough that I am writing a post about someone I actually detest. Maybe it's the inner urge to rant. But seriously, everyone does stupid things. I do stupid things all the time. But to be detested, you need to be so good at it and yet so oblivious to what you have done. You have to be so self centered, thinking the world revolves around you, that you do not notice the nonsense and crap you are creating. That's the pinnacle.

I used to have this boss who literally embodies the word stupidity. There is so much to say, yet normal words cannot describe the mess she creates everytime she speaks or writes an email.

" Nonsense with every breath,

Chaos in all her mails,

She fires her arrow of death,

And everyone scurries to bail.

An unfortunate foe falls,

Besieged by her senseless whim,

The epitome of stupidity,

I call thee Ms G*lian Lim. "

- Pokpok, 02 Oct 2007

Stupidity

Absence . . .

" Sensing her touch,

Yearning for her smile,

I laze quietly on the couch,

Thoughts coming in a pile.

Why do I miss her so,

My mind slows to ponder,

I now believe too,

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. "

- Pokpok, 5 Aug 2007

Absence

My baby went off to China this morning for work. I should be a bigger man and say it's all good. But I can't help but miss her so. It's still early days, but I have a very good feeling about this one. There are several big obstacles to pass though. Hopefully it'll all end in happiness. One can only hope . . .

I am a Smoker . . .

Puff Puff Puff. This is what I've been doing for the past 10 years.

I smoke about 10 sticks a day, everyday. Most of you would now be thinking ... "What are you doing to your body??!!" "Do you know smoking kills??" "Do you know you'll die younger??" ... and the 'questions' and reprimand goes on and on.

Yes. I know Smoking kills. I know eating fried foods might result in colon cancer in the later years. I know eating fast food or growing overweight will increase the chances of heart attacks. I know not exercising will make your body weak and susceptible to illnesses. I know there are ten thousand and one things that can kill you the very next moment.

I sound like I'm in denial arn't I. Yup, I guess I might be. . . But you see, I grew up in a very liberal household *think Ang Moh upbringing*. I was never caught smoking - simply cos I told my parents about it the same day I started. And all they said were "Ok, but don't smoke too much, not good for the body." That's how much freedom my parents gave to their children. I've never met any other parent capable of doing what they do. To allow us freedom, yet still love and guide us along through life as they did. I'll tell you all about them in another post.

Back to the cigarettes . . . I've tried to quit 3 times through these years. The longest I've lasted was 4 months before I started again due to stress from taking my exams. The first 3 were done 'Cold-Turkey' style. I was having shivers, nose dripping, constant headaches, short-tempers, and totally irritable in the first few days.

And now comes the 4th attempt. Unlike the first 3 attempts which were done voluntarily, this attempt is done in part for someone else. In part because eventually it is for my own selfish happiness too. And I think I have a good feeling about this attempt. I didn't have anyone to push me along the first 3 times. However, now I have a purpose to quit. And I truly hope that purpose is enough to push me through.

I'm gonna cut down slowly, bit by bit. The first target now is to drop to 6 sticks a day. I really hope I'll make it. For a better tomorrow for myself, I truly, sincerely hope so. . .

" Puff Puff Puff,

The cigarette fills the air with smoke,

My lungs cringes at the black stuff,

Til I eventually choke.

My heart longs for it to end,

To bridge this long dark gap,

My world wants a new bend,

To end with a triumphant clap. "

-- Pokpok, 2 Aug 07

Puff, Puff, Puff

*Smoking kills*

My Little Space . . .

Just wanna "show-off" my little space. Its just a simple entertainment center. But this is where you find me most of the time if I'm not out. It has your basic male staples: Computer, TV, sexy Calender (or two =P), big pile of something you need to clear but never have the time <.<

Of note in my space is definitely that beauty I've hanged on the wall. Maxim US edition calender! A friend got it from US as a Christmas gift. Nothing beats having seductive, voluptuous, drop-dead beautiful girls to look at everytime I walk into the room or stretch my neck. I hope he goes to the US again this winter muhahaha.

Some of you might have caught the other bikini calender beside my TV as well. Umm, thats a yearly staple from my Dad (of all people). He works in the shipbuilding industry and every new year he'll come home with calenders from his suppliers. These range from scenery, animal themes to sexy bikini babes to partial or full nudity types. I've had bikini babes calenders since ... primary school? yeah its a definite staple hahaha.

I also have a JVC mini-hifi to the left of the TV. Only 1 station set on it, Class 95FM. Been listening to the station since secondary school. Its always on so long as I'm in the room, even when I sleep.

So well, this is my little space, where I enjoy TV shows, net surfing, singing along to radio music, watching eh.. *cough* suggestive movies *cough*, etc. Ermm ... about the last part ... what can I say? I'm a typical guy. =)

My Little Tarutaru . . .

I play Final Fantasy XI Online. It's a Massively Multiplayer Online game made by Square-Enix. Its been in service for 4 years plus now and still there are tons of people playing it. At any one time there would be 1800-2600 online in a server. And there are 32 servers. The game is available on PC or PS2. I think this is the first game that allows PC and Console gamers to play together. It was one of the top MMOs at the time, and still is in my opinion. I've been playing it since the English version for PC was released.

That's my alter ego on the left of the picture, AhBoo, a little Tarutaru. Tarutarus are more atune to magic, thus most are in mage classes (or jobs as we call it in FFXI).

The other people you see in the picture are my in-game friends. This is a goodbye picture for Aokin . . . He is a primary school teacher, and he was relocated to another perfecture, thus having to stop playing for a good while. He say's he'll be back and I truely hope so. He is one of the very few Japanese that is willing to speak English with me. Those that are well versed in Japanese culture would know why I treasure such a gesture by him.

Tacchii has recently disappeared too . . . and I wish him all the best. He is a secondary school student and a nephew of Aokin. His command and understanding of English is simply amazing for a Japanese, more so for someone so 'young'. Youth and amazing English skills just dont come together at all in Japanese culture.

Blackpudding still plays. He is married with kids and works at a German company in Japan. He has very good English too. He likes to complain that his wife takes no interest whatsoever in his game. (Hehehe *wink *wink).

Well, I'll talk more about my other life again soon. 4 years is a long time and a lot of memories to chronicle in one post.

My First Poem . . .

This is my first attempt at a poem ever . . .

It just struck me out of nowhere. I guess this is how poets work. They get inspiration from their daily lifes and wa~la~! beautiful lyrics flow from their pens. I hope the same is working for me as well . . .

" My Little Sio Ba

So Lovely, Tender and Sweet,

My Heart Fills with Joy and Wonder,

Everytime We Meet. "

- Pokpok, My Sio Ba

Yes, its cheesy. But I like cheesy. Nothing beats the courage to try something you have never done before. So I'm writing my cheesy poem and sharing it to the world. Proudly.

My Little Sio Ba

Today is a Happy Day.

Why you ask? well, because my Mum made my favorite dish, Sio Ba. For those of you unfamiliar with this Chinese dish, it is sort of a 3 layer pork. There is the crispy crunchy top layer, the tender layer of fats in the middle, and the aromatic meat below which has bones for added taste.

This is definitely not a dish for the faint hearted (or should I say for the health conscious). It is high in fats, calories and every bite reeks of sinful pleasure. As your tongue touches the succulent meat, it oozes in watery dribble of happiness. I would literally describe the feeling simply as Bliss.

Maybe some of you would be asking now, "Why do you call it your little sio ba??". "You acutally have a nickname for this dish??!!". Well, hehehehe, now thats an all together different thing right there. You see ... this nickname is for a special someone in my life. "What?! you call your special someone such an unromantic name?!"

Yes. A definite yes. Because what I feel with my special little sio ba is what I feel with every bite of this dish, and even more. Simple, undying Bliss. The sort you will never get tired of.

Which is why I'm introducing this dish to every lonely heart out there. I hope you can enjoy the joys of this dish as much as I have, and maybe someday you'll understand that your special someone is your little Sio Ba as well . . . (Hehehe)

My Little Rascal, Pokpok . . .

He was a gift from my Aunties and Uncle, gift of Love, Warm and Affection.

I was only a month old at the time, and Pokpok has come a long way with me since then.

He shared my joys, my pain, my sorrows . . .

He is my Pokpok, my longest friend ever . . .