It's been 3 weeks since I visited SGH for the results of my MRI scan. It was a mix of relief, anger and frustration. The emotions were so raw and real that I didn't want to talk nor blog about it till now. But I think I'm ready to document it because its important. I hope no one else suffers the same unfortunate fate.
So it all begin at end March and the visit to the Eunos polyclinic for my stuffed ear. Although the doctor specified that my case is urgent, the earliest appointment at SGH ENT was in end May. Fast forward two months and I'm at SGH for my appointment. In the room there was the ENT doctor and also an old Assoc Professor ... presumably an expert in this field and 'training' the ENT doctors of tomorrow.
The SGH training ENT doctor listened to my symptoms, did a preliminary visual check on my ears and then suggest that we do a hearing test immediately so they can judge it better. So I went for the test and wait for an hour for the results. When I saw the doctor again he showed me the chart.
The results were obvious. The hearing on my right ear - represented by the circles in the below picture - were normal. My left - in a mix of X and squares - shows a defined loss of hearing. Not total loss but below the normal hearing decibels marked by the crude line across the chart.
Next he suggested that we start Steroid therapy. However the Associate Professor recommended we do a full MRI instead. Makes sense, I read that there is a 10-20% chance that the sudden hearing loss or Tinnitus may be caused by a growth pressing against a nerve. This time the appointment was quicker in early June and a followup was also scheduled for end June to review the outcome of the MRI.
The next weeks was a little unnerving. Between the MRI and the followup visit there was little I could do except to go for weekly acupuncture at NTU. It helped relieve the stuffed ear but the hearing loss and ringing are still there. I try not to show it by not thinking about it ... but the chance that this is something more sinister lingered in my mind. What if ....
I was prepared .... so I say. I have adequate insurance to cover basic medical treatment, death payouts to fund the kid's education and the family's sustenance for years. But I don't believe anyone can ever be mentally prepared to hear that their life is in peril. Not so much the concern of my own, but the thought that I cannot experience life with Meimei and the kids weighs heavily. Thankfully it didn't come to this.
I was in pins and needles as I entered the doctor's room. It's a different one today, a lady doctor. The Assoc Professor was walking about supervising another doctor in an adjacent room. As the doctor shared my MRI results, an immense sense of relief overcame me. Phew ... no growth or anomaly was detected. It doesn't mean an all clear but it's the best current science and technology can determine.
Next part is where the anger and frustration comes.
Doc: "So Mr Boo, based on the MRI scan there is no indication of anything abnormal that would have caused the hearing loss."
Me: "Ok great so what are our next steps? Can we start steroid therapy?"
Doc: "It's too late to start steroid therapy, it's usually only useful within the first month of the occurrence of the hearing loss"
Me: "Huh? What?" (I showed a full face of bewilderment and shock)
Doc: "The risk far outweigh the benefits at this point"
Me: "But my appointment took two months ... " *extremely frustrated voice
Me: "So there is nothing that can be done? No other treatment options?"
Doc: "Well there is a specialised water treatment therapy ... but it's very expensive"
Me: "How expensive is it? Can we start immediately?"
Doc: "It's a few thousand per treatment ... but eh ... it's also only useful in the first month or two"
I looked at her in disgust ... WTF you tell me this now. Are you rubbing it in that I have missed the golden period to have my ailment treated? I try to keep my cool but my facial expression must have gave it away.
Sensing my frustration, the Assoc Professor came to help the trainee doc.
Assoc Prof: "Many studies have shown that steroid therapy is only effective in the first month" "And even then there are mixed results and not a guarantee that it will help"
At this point my mind was filled with utter anger and frustration. Why the fuck did they - the Eunos Poly Doctor, the Assoc Prof - not start me on the steroid therapy early?! I couldn't think clearly but I kept it in ... there is no point shouting at them.
Me: "So what should I have done? I realised its too late for me to get treatment but what was the right thing to do?"
Me: "I need to know so that if any of my family member, touch wood, get into the same situation, what should I advise them?"
Me: "I don't want them to end up like me and not getting the treatment they need to have a chance to recover."
Assoc Prof: "Go to the A&E. There will be an emergency ENT doc there."
Me: "Huh? A&E? They will give me a course of treatment?"
Assoc Prof: "Yes they will administer the steroid treatment immediately, it's a standard SOP for sudden hearing loss." "And they will refer you to the hospital specialist doctors for followup." "It usually takes at most a week for a patient at the A&E to get an appointment with us."
My mind was blown at this point. I stared blankly at the two. So if I had not been civic conscious and jam up the A&E like we've always been told not to do by medical professionals and health ministers ... I would have gotten started on a course of treatment and seen the ENT specialist just a week in?!!!
WHAT THE FUCK! I got totally screwed over by being a socially responsible citizen!! FUCK THIS!
Doc: "But Mr Boo, at least there is no abnormal growth that might signal something more serious"
At this point I wanted to cry out but managed to held it in.
Me: "Yeah but that's cold comfort right? You'll telling me I could have gotten a better chance at treating this if I had known to go to the A&E ..."
Both of them looked at me and kinda gave me the shrugged look - like tough luck boy ... you have missed the golden period and there is nothing more we can help you.
Doc: "We can refer you to the hearing aid department to try on an ear piece to help with the hearing."
I stared at them with a look of defeat, resigned to my fate that I'll have to live with it forever.
Me: "Ok just help me make a booking? How soon will the appointment be?"
Doc: "Oh they are quite full, probably be another few months"
Me: "A few months?! Ok ok just make the booking... "
After all the nonsense, I'm not surprised its another few months. I had nothing more to say to these so-called medical professional and got up to leave the room. A nurse guide me out and told me I can leave. I couldn't. I just sat at the seats outside the consultation room to collect my thoughts. I called Meimei to share the news briefly.
As I sat there I was filled with anger, resentment and eventually sense of helplessness and defeat. I'm realistic, I recognise that this ailment may never go away. All the youtube and reading points to that. I'm under no illusion that I would have been cured with steroid treatment, but at least there was a chance. So what made me so angst was that I was denied possible treatment simply because of the incompetence of the Eunos polyclinic doctor and a general lack of awareness that I should have gone to the A&E.
This big lie of a call for people not to go to an A&E when there is no life-threatening illness is so damaging to the individual like myself, it borders on criminal! So FUCK YOU Health ministers and whoever is peddling this bullshit! From this moment on, it's all me me me. I have to take care of my own interest because you are going to screw me over and over. A&E are jammed up you say ... well F you for your incompetence! Go build more hospitals! It's your fault, not the people that go there. They are doing the right thing to get help for themselves.
AAArrrrghhhhh!!
