Being Violated

I just woke up from a dream. It’s 2.40am and I’m lying on my own bed feeling angry and violated. 

The dream was fuzzy, at one point was in the toilet washing my hands and an asshole started grabbing my balls from behind. I struggle to get free and attempt to elbow my assailant but he continued to grope me. I managed to turn around and see it was the bastard from the flat above ours.

I thought I'm passed it but it looks like subconsciously I'm still holding a grudge against the degenerate from entering our house without permission. I suppose it will never go away, just blocked in some corner of our consciousness till one day it decides it wants to come up for a spin.

This also explains why I will always remember another incident where my decency was violated. I was maybe 13-14 years old at the time. I was at what is now branded as JCube to catch a movie. As I stand in the moving crowd someone suddenly grope my crouch out of nowhere. I frantically looked around to see if I could find who did that but there was too many people moving past me. Then a couple minutes later I happened again and then a few minutes later again. I was dumbfounded and in shock ... thinking back I should have moved away from the crowd and park myself against a wall to stop this from repeating. But I guess I was young and naive and probably not sure what to do at the time. So a bloody gay faggot (or it could be a group of them) was molesting me multiple times.

There is very little I remember of my youth but this incident is forever inched in my memory.

Kiddo Talk & Pic Oct 2021

Mastery in full display this month. He is still only 3 year old folks.

Master Negotiator

阳阳: what’s that colorful thing

Meimei: blah blah

阳阳: can you go and buy it tomorrow?

Meimei: maybe cannot find

阳阳: just try

Meimei: ok but if it’s too expensive I also cannot buy

阳阳: if it is too expensive you just leave it in the shop

(Thinks a while)

阳阳: then you find other things in the shop

Master Guilt-Tripper

阳阳: mama tomorrow can you help me find my robot car

Meimei: it’s spoilt already

阳阳: did you throw it?

Meimei: I don’t remember , should be because it’s spoilt remember ?

阳阳: but it’s my present 

Meimei: hmmm

阳阳: it’s my birthday present you know

Meimei: orrrrr

阳阳: I’m really sad…

Meimei: I know

阳阳: tomorrow can you buy me a race car?

Meimei: so no need robot car?

阳阳: I want

Meimei: can only pick one

阳阳: robot car

Meimei: ok so no race car ok?

阳阳: robot car also can go very fast like a race car 🏎

*Squeezing out tears now

Master Manipulator

阳阳: jiejie you don’t angry ok everybody loves you *whisper

萱萱: I’m sorry 阳阳 *kiss and hugs each other

Master Contriver

阳阳: crying quietly at 3am

Meimei: no cry no cry why

阳阳: in a broken little voice.. I’m all alone because you no hug me

Meimei: aiyo no cry mama hug you

阳阳: can you hug my babies too (his soft toys)

Until nearly 5am then sleep

Master Conversationist

Meimei: don’t do that anymore ok

阳阳: yes 

Meimei: good

阳阳:.. no

Meimei: what??

阳阳: yes no yes no yes no yes no …. Yes no yes no yo.. do u know what is yo?

Mama in this picture are you lost? Lost in the forest?

Turning 43

Another year older. The hair on my chin are starting to turn white. There are still many years to come and I'm looking forward to spend them with Meimei, 萱萱 and 阳阳. I don't need fancy events, travels or exciting outings. Just the simple life will do for me.

My First ART test

It wasn't as bad as it's made out to be. Well it's an ART and not the brain poking PCR test. Took my first one today because I needed one before I am allowed back in the office. Have to do this twice a week if I'm back the whole week.

Summoners War: Getting My Most Wanted Unit

I've been wanting this girl since I returned to the game 2 years ago. Finally got her today but its a bittersweet experience. True I'm glad I summoned her but she is no longer as meta as before. She is still good but there are some much control units these days that she has fallen off slightly.

A Ikea "DollHouse"

I think we need to stop buying dollhouses for 萱萱. She has more fun using a climbing stool to play make-believe. This was how we played back in our day when we don't have fancy toys and everything was a 'pretend' toy. Love her creativity.

Throwback Pics #2

 

So Much Emotions

I wasn't there but Meimei says that 阳阳 cried when 萱萱 told him that Kidsmania where she's been to play make-believe has closed down. Omg ... so much emotions. We need to toughen up this boy!

Elixir Haul #5

Shopping For A New Dining Table

The dining table started to shake from corner to corner recently. Meimei and I have been doing brief research online to hunt for a new table. There is a new tech called Sintered stone so we were at Comfort Design to get a feel of the table top.

Unfortunately the sintered top didn't feel good at all. It was rough and feels like dirt and whatnot will get stuck in the uneven surface.

We did, however, chance on what was once our ideal choice for a dining table top. Tuck in a corner was a black table top with a tray of tile-like samples. I knew what it was the moment I saw it and immediately went over to check it out. They were offering customised Siletone quartz table for sale with a wide choice of colours and 2 type of legs, wood or steel.

When we first moved to 405, we asked our interior designer if he could liaise with Caesarstone supplier to see if we can find someone who sells it as a table top. We never got a reply and it was not to be. We knew it was going to be expensive judging by the per square foot price on our kitchen top and we were at the top end of our budget already.

Well so it was just meant to be that we found this now. It's going to cost a bomb ... we were quoted $2,700 for an older colour and $3,300 for the more premium colours. Plus is that we can customise the size we want 1.8m by 85cm.

We didn't do an impulse buy ... well largely due to the extreme price. The sintered tables are going for like $600-$900 and our old table cost $1,280. So the Siletone table will be a huge investment. But hey, we did spend $3,600 on a 3 seater sofa so what's another premium ticket furniture ;-)

Water Play Right Outside The Door

Due to the covid restrictions we have not been able to go Hillview for some 'outdoor' play. So I setup the water play right outside our front door today. Any drip will simply flow down the stairs and so there was minimal cleanup required. Both kiddo had lots of fun. This is definitely better than being coup up in the living the whole day.

Pushing & Chasing After The Bike

Kiddos have found a new way to play. They would push it other on the smaller bicycle. I tried to get them to stop as I was afraid the one behind might slip and fall but they are having just so much fun I couldn't bear to end it.

Getting 萱萱 Her New Uniform

At Braddell today to get 萱萱 her primary school uniform. She was restless when we tried it at the shop. She was even more emo when we tried it again at night. The skirt was too long so we may have to go change it or have a seamstress to adjust it.

   

Children Art: Piggy Bag

This is part of the HBL for 阳阳. The kids are home again due to the surge in Covid cases and these HBLs are a short reprieve to entertain them.

I now have crazy work hours, meetings from 9am-noon and then again at 9pm to midnight for the next 2 months so I am hogging the study room. Thankfully Meimei has the patience to help the kiddos with the homework. 

Zooming At The Basketball Court

I made sure to check that there were no one else at the basketball court before bringing the kids down. Covid cases are now in the thousands so its worrying to bring the kiddos out to any place with other folks around. But again this is no way to grow up and I try to give them as much outdoor playtime where practical.