A 2nd Class In My Own Home

I was shouted at in my own home on Monday and Friday because I asked a question that our queen didn't like to hear. What's wrong with asking if there was fruit for the children? The worst part is that there was little I could do other than shout back. Even that was useless as she is now the queen of the house.

Who is this queen? She is our Indonesian maid Siti that has stepped over me, Meimei, Nyama and everyone else in the household. She now decides whether she likes what she hears or not. And if she doesn't you can bet she will shout back at you with 4-5 sentences and berating you for being stupid.

It used to be that I would be asked to ask her to do something as she is more obedient when hearing instructions from me. However that has now changed. Probably she thinks because her Singaporean boyfriend is going to marry her, she is now our equal or maybe even superior to us. We are mere pawns and dirt she has to put up with before she can brush us aside.

Now I know how Nyama feels. The injustice, the betrayal, the pend up inability to get back at her. I had previously told Nyama to ignore it and walk away or quote my name to get what she wants. I now know I've let her down badly. There is no solving this other than the removal of the antagonist. Well, at least Nyama can decide not to come over to our house anymore as a means to get away. I, on the other hand, do not have any other place to go.

So what can I do? Suck it up? Cower in fear any question or comment I say to the queen will make her upset and shout at me again?

Oh and I will not forget all the verbal abuse the kids had to endure because she was in a bad mood. 萱萱 had to suffer her scolding because Siti didn't like that 萱萱 didn't follow her instructions. Just 2 weeks ago, 萱萱 was helping me with pampers and oil for 阳阳 when Siti called her to go bath. And because 萱萱 was helping me she couldn't go to Siti fast enough and was reprimanded till she was sobbing and crying. Can you imagine the fear and emotional trauma 萱萱 had to go through? What could I do ... I could only shout back at her and then 萱萱 and I had to endure days of sarcastic remarks berating 萱萱 for complaining. How cowardly and inapt I've become that I cannot protect my own children.

I think the blame lies squarely on myself. For ignoring the burden and indignity that Nyama has suffered, closing both eyes and subjecting 萱萱 and 阳阳 to unjust temper, for being lazy to take up the mettle of taking care of the children and household chores, for being self absorbed in entertainment on the phone. It's all because of my inaction over the years that has cumulated in this.

Is it too late to remedy it? No idea, but what I do know is now is the time for action. Enough talk, swift execution and action before I regret or repeat my mistakes again.

阳阳's First Swimming Lesson

First swimming lesson for 阳阳. We're not sure if it would work out. Due to Covid we are unable to enter the swimming pools to watch over him or help him change after the lesson. 萱萱 started when she was four and we are clearly starting way earlier with 阳阳. We are banking on 萱萱 watching and helping 阳阳.

阳阳 suffered a scare and probably swallowed a few gulps of pool water when he fell in during the lesson. He was inching closer and closer to the edge as he splashed the water with his legs. And then somehow he fell forward into the pool. Luckily coach pulled him out of the water quickly. 

Other than that it turned out pretty ok. 萱萱 is the best 姐姐 any kid could ask for. She readily helped 阳阳 with his bag and float without prompting. We can pull this off because 萱萱 was there.

New Year 2021

My 2020 resolution was to spend more time with family. And Covid-19 kinda made sure of that as we have had to work from home since March.

This year's resolution is the same, spending time with family. 萱萱 is in K2 this year and so this year is last of where we can schedule trips or holidays outside of school terms. Unfortunately due to Covid we could not go overseas for holidays but hopefully we can plan some activities occasionally.

Random Kiddo Talk Dec 2020

Meimei: Emily do you want to learn piano

Oo: I don’t know

Oo: I still thinking

Meimei: you can slowly think

Oo: if I don’t want it’s ok?

Meimei: yes it’s ok

Oo: but if I want it’s more better?

Meimei and the dad: nods slowly.. yes

Random Kiddo Pic Dec 2020

 

YeeYee's Wedding Day

Woot! Congratulations YeeYee! 

Celebrations were subdued due to Covid-19 measures. Instead of the normal 10 pax per table, there can only be 4 pax a table. Despite the smaller crowd it was still a wonderful intimate occasion. 

Presents Galore!

This is probably the year where the kids are getting so many presents. I think we overdid it by a long stretch and made a point to Meimei that we need to tone it down going forward.

Obviously the kids were extremely happy and excited with so many toys. I suppose it's fitting for kids to enjoy childhood when they can. We just need to tamper their expectations that they will not get as many goodies as they grow older. But for now, woohoo! toys galore!

Tunnel Slide Playground

We are at a new playground today, one which replaced the old Floating Stones playground 萱萱 used to love playing at. I like the old one as the floating stones were a unique feature I rarely see in other playgrounds. It helps to build hand eye coordination and builds her confidence to venture into 'dangerous' positions. Unfortunately 阳阳 will never get to experience it. 

Nonetheless the new playground does make it easier for 阳阳 to have fun too. Often the problem I face is finding a playground that can suit both a 5 year old and a 2 year old. If its just small slides, 萱萱 gets bored. If its more ladders and taller climbs 阳阳 cannot play since its dangerous. So I'm happy when there is one that can suit a wider age range. And the kids truly love this playground, especially the swing.

What Makes You Happy And Sad

萱萱: "Papi can we chitchat?"

萱萱: "When you are young like me and didi, what makes you happy? what makes you sad?" 

萱萱: “Papi do u know what will make me sad?”

萱萱: “When mama scold justin”

萱萱: “When mama don’t love justin”

萱萱: “These are the two things that make me sad”

Papa: "How about when mama scold u?"

萱萱: "No, just crying. And sometimes I don't cry when mama scold me one"

Papa: "But why sometimes you will tell us to scold Justin?"

萱萱: "I'm not sad about that because Justin naughty"

萱萱: "But I sad about Justin just now cry"

Papa: "Do you know mummy love you and Justin very very much?"

萱萱: "Yes but when we get really really naughty mama will scold us"

Papa: "What makes 萱萱 happy"

萱萱: "When I play with my friends"

萱萱: "When I spend time with everybody I will be happy"

萱萱: "When I sit in the airplane I will be happy, wah can see the sky so high yah"

萱萱: "When I play basketball with Daddy and Mami and Justin"

And then she stopped talking, turned to the side and seemed happy and contented to doze off and sleep.

Setting Up The Tree For Christmas 2020

It gets more and more fun now that both kids are bigger and can help with the decoration. Last year 阳阳 was still a toddler and didn't really understand what was going on. This year he was able to help put on some of the ornaments.

Sofra Is Back!

We were worried when we first saw Sofra looked like it had shut down as we drove past Shaw Towers. Thankfully they were closed because they were moving to a new location. Shaw Towers is slated to be torn down and redeveloped into a new building so all tenants had to go. Sofra has moved to a much more spacious, bright and lively storefront at Marina Square.

As much as the place looks better, the more important thing was whether the food is still as good. So we were there today to test it. And it sure didn't disappoint. Looks like we would be coming back often for a regular doze of great Turkish cuisine.

Random Kiddo Pic Nov 2020

 

Retro Mario

I came into the bedroom last night to a surprise package on the bedside table. A belated birthday present from Meimei!

I gave it a couple of good shakes to see if I could figure out what it was. I never get it right but it is always fun to guess. Well it turns out to be a Mario Brothers handheld game!

The nostalgia of this is so real. But not so much that I reminisce the good old times of playing Mario brother games ... rather more of how much I wanted to play these games back in the day but didn't get the opportunity to do so. Either my parents outright refused to buy a console for the games or they withheld the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) during school term and only let us play during school holidays. So yeah it brings back memories but not in a pure gleeful sense of "oh yeah I had so much fun with these back in the day" ... more of "dang I wish I had the chance to play these more when I was younger".

Would I do the same to my kids? Maybe ... its so much harder to control them now with all the digital gadgets and handphones.

I Can Fly, Fly, Fly, I'm A Little Butterfly~

Just had to post this very fun video (at least for me) of 阳阳 interacting with Nyaong and Nyama.

A Truck For 姐姐

Since 萱萱's saving for the watch, she has not been spending on any other toys. You can tell though she is tempted to spend some, especially when 阳阳 has been using 2-3 stars regularly to get small trucks and cars. I think 阳阳 notices it too and he did a very nice thing today for 萱萱.  

He asked for two of the fire trucks. When questioned why he is getting two, he simply said, "one for 阳阳 one for 姐姐”. I then told him that I would take away 6 stars since each cost 3 stars. He replied with "姐姐 stars" "No, 姐姐 is saving for the watch, if you want to get a truck for 姐姐 you have to use your stars". He stared at the trucks for a few seconds and nodded. To make sure he understood I replied it a few more times that I was going to take 6 stars away from his chart and he kept replying ok.

So I crossed out 6 stars from his chart and gave him the trucks. He was very excited and ran to the living room to pass one of them to 萱萱. Awwwww ... such a sweet gesture.