Home Cooked Goodness - Fish Soup

I love Mama's Fish Soup. Wasn't too difficult to prepare. Turns out pretty close to hers, and all so comforting. I think I might start making soup every weekend.

Cooking - Teriyaki Gindara

The first time Meimei cooked this, I discovered that we could do as good as any Japanese restaurant. I'm glad Meimei is ok to have this, she never has fish as she doesn't like the bones. It's such a simple dish to make, yet so satisfying.

I tried doing the same on a red grouper but it wasn't as nice. Grouper is better steamed. I'll try that next time.

Ingredients

Cod Fish - Choose the white ones

Teriyaki Sause

Preparation

Rub cod fish with salt

Pour 2 tablespoon of teriyaki and add a little water

Heat pan and throw in fish

Pour sause onto fish

The Art Of Zombie-ing

Zombie-ing is a difficult art. You try to pass the day simulating work while really doing nothing of significance. The start of the day is easier with the customary prep work. First there is the calendar check to see if you were invited to a meeting. You summon a smile when you find one you might like to attend. There is the influx of miscellaneous fyi emails that fills your inbox. You delight as the unread ticker rise and pray it goes past double digits so you have more to run through. Occasionally you find one of relevance and you take your time to compose a response. The rest you stretch their worth by reading from end to end and then simply discarding whatever morsel of meaningful data from your consciousness. If you are lucky you would have gone past the hour and a half mark by the time you are done.

Next comes the harder part of the day. You have nothing on hand to occupy your time, at least not the official ones. So you fill the screen with multiple spreadsheets, word documents and pdfs., preferably work related ones so it looks authentic. On a good day, you figure you can blog about something … like this post. On other days you drink lots of water and go for potty breaks every half hour just so you can move away from your computer. Thankfully it usually isn’t long before you reach the lunch hour to enjoy the much needed reprieve from the ruse.

Then you return in the afternoon with a full stomach and nagging wants of a soft bed to rest your heavy head. You try to shut out the thoughts of sleep and do more of the same as you did before lunch. But the day seems longer and all energy is sapped from your limp body as you fight away the onset of boredom.

There are times when you try to work on personal assignments, but those require you to look at nice pretty financial reports which draw attention to your screen. So you try to keep an ear on your surroundings and your fingers close to the Alt-Tab keys. It’s tough going as you need to surf the net for research. And surfing is a dangerous thing so you try to keep it to a minimum. Slowly you get some stuff done, though at an unproductive rate. With that you shave off another hour or so from the day.

There are also those days where you simply stone. There is the inane fear of being caught doing nothing yet you can’t seem to summon the energy nor motivation to do anything other than staring blankly at your screen. Typically the rock-mimicking routines span several minutes at a time and with good skills and a dose of luck you take another hour off your shift.

Much effort has been spent to pass the day of eight hours. But even with proficiency you are more tired doing nothing than doing something. You can only look out the window and dream of the near future when you can call it quits and move on to the next adventure. Well at least you comfort yourself with another day clocked towards mastering the art of zombie-ing. And then the same day starts again tomorrow …

~~~~~~~~~

It’s killing me, I’m dying from boredom. It’s tiring playing this cat and mouse game. Sadly I can’t help it, I have to go against my natural instincts to survive. Already they are waiting intently for me to leave the company. I fought against their wishes and cling onto the desk. My natural sense tells me to source for improvement opportunities, ways to streamline processes, upgrade the templates, build continuity, help out the team in their tasks, deliver more.

But I need to keep away from these … the people here do not deserve it, nor will they appreciate it even if I do contribute. So I find myself sitting here honing my undead skills and wait for the opportune time. I wait to go back to a fast pace industry where changes abound and you are constantly on your toes looking to the next challenge.

I’m sure many will say I’m silly to be looking when this job has little pressure and pace is slow. But the problem is that I’m not that sort of person. So again I’m waiting to move to the next challenge. Hopefully I would not bore to death before I find the right opportunity.

P.S. Writing this post took three hours off the day. The three hours include four bio breaks, two trips to make green tea, a trip to the nearby café for coffee and a sandwich. It would be nice if I have another topic to do the same again for tomorrow.

Solving The Mystery Of Din Tai Fung

Never had it even though it's been around for ages. Meimei doesn't seem to fancy it. I like the fried rice and xiao long bao. Will Pokpok get a chance to eat this again?

Learning To Be Selfish

I should learn to keep quiet! Why share your experiences and know-how when the recipients are going to abuse it. They are not going to thank you for it, they will take it for granted and then spit you out. I need to be selfish, to do things for my benefit and not the company’s. Arggghh this is so much against everything I’ve stand for. I would have liked a win-win situation where both the company’s interest and mine are satisfied. There isn’t one here so I have to choose.

Why? Because the company and its minions are going to screw you over anyways. Your boss and colleagues are going to work to their own benefit, so why shouldn’t you? Why be the whipping boy and the one who gets the detrimental results while others enjoy the benefits of their selfishness? Join the bandwagon, you are downright stupid to believe there is any goodness in people.

I likened my circumstances to this. There is a mad woman on the street stabbing people randomly with a HIV laced syringe. Several people in the vicinity have been infected. I struggled with the woman, knocked her down and pinned her to the ground. Then two police officers came by and looked at me nonchalantly. They did not try to understand the nature of the situation, all they see is me on top of a struggling, screaming woman. They went on to reprimand me for hurting the mad woman and issued a summons for my aggression. So I had to let go.

What would you have done? You can’t cure crazy, you are penalized for attempting to subdue the crazy, the only option you have left is to avoid the crazy. So avoid I did.

The whole situation reminds me of a friendly advice given by one of the directors I used to work with several years ago. She called me to her office one day for an impromptu chitchat. Although she was not in the same department, she has been working with my VP for a good twenty odd years. So my VP who was concerned that I was going about things the wrong way had asked her for a favour to guide me on the on-goings.

She said, “Everyone can see you are very dedicated and working long hours. But have you considered that maybe not everyone appreciates what you are doing? Why go against things that the senior management has decided? You see, there are so many people earning double or triple what you earn for doing a quarter of the work you do. These are people in high places and they think they know best, and they don’t like anyone telling them otherwise … Pokpok, just go with the flow. Don’t stick your head out when it is not welcomed. Your VP, myself, and many others would hate to see you suffer for your diligence and integrity.” I never quite understand what she meant until I came to my current job. It now resonates so loudly as something I should practice, for my own good. I suppose it’s never too late to learn and apply good concepts.

It’s going to take awhile for me to get used to this. Not sure if I’ll ever get there. But for my loved ones, I should try. Rewards are enjoyed by my closed family and their enjoyment is good enough a reason for me to think for me, and me alone (only in the work space).

Are My Fingers Green Or Brown?

Bright pot and greens to liven up the workplace. Hmmm will it last a week or longer, I wonder ...

Snaking A Difficult Situation

I learned something new today. Well it’s not that I don’t know how to do it because that would mean I’m simple-minded, but rather it’s not something I would do in normal circumstances. I’ve had to taichi a responsibility to my manager. Some would say that it’s not my responsibility but as a manager myself, I think (maybe stupidly) that it is my mine to resolve.

So the situation is such that one of the axis members decides to plan his leave during the December holidays and month end closing. How can you take leave during closing? Yes it’s not exactly during the closing days but still you need to prep before the close yes? I can understand if you have critical events that are beyond your control like exams or medical appointments. But if it is taking leave for travel then it is something you should have considered clearly before planning for it. As it is, there is no official application on the leave portal as yet, but he has mentioned the dates on an email and also populated the leave on the leave calendar worksheet.

As a responsible manager I should have pointed it out to him that this is not acceptable and rejected it upfront. But given my situation I can ill afford another complaint. Normally you wouldn’t think doing your job right deserves any complaint but you see, I’m working at a ridiculous place. Imagine being afraid of complaints from your subordinates to the point of incapacitation to do what you think and know is right simply because it may not be popular with others. It’s not really that I’m afraid but rather I prefer to avoid since I’ve already gone through several experiences of being left out in the cold to answer for groundless accusations and being penalized for them.

Being unable to come around to a good solution I shared this dilemma with my fellow manager and lo and behold he gave me a wonderful advice. “Pokpok, just send an email as instructed and say you have been informed that the leave cannot be approved.” “That way you still adhere to boss’s explicit instructions and be the caring and understanding manager. You stand in the middle, do your due diligence of informing each party and won’t get into trouble either way.” “If you do get complaints, you can justify that you did your part.” This is why I look up to him. He is able to dissect the issue and serve up well-thought advice on a whim. And best part is that he doesn’t sidestep the questions or problem and sincerely tries to give you his best option.

So I tried this today. I’m crossing my fingers and hoping I come out of this in one piece. And if this works, it can become a showpiece for my future people issues, i.e. don’t go head to head with crazy folks, leave that to your boss!

Bakerzin Change?

Used to love dining here on aglio olio, carbonara, dory fish etc. Taste of dishes have now changed along with my interest of the place. 

Vase 303 - 2013 21st Sep

Collection of peripheral flowers, no main star. I like the contrast of lavender shades.

Home Cooked Goodness - Ham & Egg Mayo Wraps

I like Meimei's wraps. They may look simple but it can be quite some work if you opt for semi-effort ingredients like egg mayo.

*Virus Alert* - iCloud

iCloud just wiped my calendar off lappy. I can't sync any events back from the iPhone. It all started with the iPhone iOS 7 update. The sneaky Apple bastards put iCloud as one of the prompts during the iOS 7. Gullible me clicked and setup iCloud, thinking it is another Dropbox service I can use for personal stuff between Apple products. Biggest mistake. The damn thing took over Address Book, iCal and several other data and pushed everything to iCloud. So now I couldn't access till I'm connected to the net. Hey, I'm privacy adverse, I don't like governments going through my stuff. It's private! Yeah, naive me. Stupid.

So I try to reverse the whole thing by deactivating iCloud. The damn thing is like a virus, embedding itself all over the other programs. Disabling address book thankfully allowed a copy to be saved on lappy. iCal is another story all together.

There is no selection of leaving your calendars on Mac! So the calendar on lappy is now wiped and I can't get it synced back from iPhone. One possibility of getting it back may be switching iCloud but why in the world would I infect my devices again with this crap. So iCal is a useless program on the lappy. Great ... I can no longer log calendar invites from email and then push them to iPhone. Good job Apple. iCloud is simply the single biggest bull of a program. I thank Dropbox for not selling out to Apple.

Well Apple you now have a disgruntled customer whom you have just tipped towards Android. I've always been a loyal Apple customer, preferring it to Android due to Apple product's usability and intuitive user interfaces. But since that edge is no longer evident (clearly gone with Steve Jobs), there is nothing holding back this angry consumer. And don't get me started with the mess that is iOS 7. Phhffff.

*Update an hour after this post - Calendars on iPhone are now gone too. Wonderful ... now I need a new device to keep my calendar going forward. Let' see, Samsung S3 looks good, Windows Phone starting to look good too.

**Update half hour after last update - Meimei's brilliant suggestion to restore looks to have fixed it. iPhone's calendars are back and iCal looks to have the same synced too. It may be just a fluke, we'll know if it is really restored in a few days. I'm still not swayed from switching, this episode has given me the impetus to explore others. Better keep my options open and not be stuck in a deliberately controlled and restrictive ecosystem.

Home Cooked Goodness - Teriyaki Cod Fish

Expensive but still cheaper than in a restaurant. Meimei does it better too. Encouraged her to cook this every week.

Battle Nations

I'm on a new game again. iPhone games don't have the sophistication to hold my attention for too long. Most are pretty one-dimensional and repetitive. That's not to say they are not good games. They satisfy the basic need for leisure, in small ounces mostly.

Recently I've started on Battle Nations. It's like a watered down version of  a village building coupled with turn-based combat game. It reminds me of the many past games I've played like Xcom, Civilization series, etc. The problem with such games is that there is a sense of continuity where you need to time actions to progress. So here I am, checking the game every other hour. Fine with me given my current situation at the office. It helps me through the day :-)

Equating Rewards To Efforts - Part 2

Following my earlier rant, I've decided to give further thought to the concept of fair rewards. So what's fair? This is a question that never has the right answer. You can say that fair is what everyone else is getting. But then you have some getting way above what they deserve and those at the pole opposites. 

Just take the few folks in the current team at the workplace (this excludes the ones on contract). They are paid 40-50% more than what they are worth in terms of skills and scope of work. A senior accountant being paid 6K+ but has never prepared a tax comp nor audit papers. An accountant in late 20s drawing 5.5K but doesn't have an accountancy or finance sense, no idea about tax, just does the transactional postings, clueless and careless in his work. My guess is most of the other older folks in the company are just as overpaid. With this sort of pay, they think they are the shits and big guns. The company is literally telling them that they are doing the right thing. But wait a second, these are the same people who saw through the two failed audits! If they are that good you shouldn't have failed in the first place isn't it?! But if you ask if they think they are being fairly paid, don't be surprised that they may gripe they are being short-changed!

Then there is me, the manager, being paid a few hundred above the senior. Well I don't profess to have special skills nor expertise that attracts a premium. But surely I'm due for much more in comparison of contributions to improvements. As my follow manager puts it philosophically “It’s not about the amount they pay you, it’s about showing how much they value you.” “By overpaying the team and paying only a few hundred more for a manager, you feel the company does not value the manager’s contribution, which in most cases are a whole lot more than your average staff.”

So coming back to the idea of fair rewards. Conceptually you expect that for a quantum of effort you receive an 'equal' returns. What is equal is naturally different for every single individual. Graphically you would find the chart as follows.

Ok so fair returns is relative, a straight constant upward line as efforts increase.  In reality, you would never receive this proportionate return. You are more likely to receive something in the lines of the Norm line. This is what most people have come to expect from work efforts. At the low levels of effort, the corresponding return is low as there is nothing material to offer for exchange. As you progress near 100% you start to see rewards. It is still off the relative line, due to others enjoying the fruits of your labour. Like how your boss receives recognition and rewards for your work. Well, part and parcel of workplace. I've benefit in previous employments as well from managing staff who produced good work. I do make a point of singling them out for commendation to the senior leaders so that their reward returns are improved. They have all received promotions in my time as their boss :-)

The distance between the relative and norm is the motivation quadrant, the hope that drives you to push yourself. It's also self-fulfilling on motivation. Rewarding at this level is likely to draw the notion that extra efforts are being appreciated, thereby motivating the person further. A good place to target in rewards for your team.

Moving below the line sits the quadrant of disappointment. It's not pure disappointment if you are just slightly below the norm. There are still remnants of motivation factor, to go that extra bit in hopes of achieving par. Also other factors contribute to the perception of unjust. I wouldn't mind if my boss is getting more glory for my work if I see him or her as a good boss. Yes my returns are lower than par but I'm willingly to take that sacrifice in the short term since I'm confident my boss would reward me fairly eventually. Or I think my boss deserves the rewards of my work as he/she takes care of me in other ways, such as giving me exposure and pieces of work which are challenging yet at the same time huge learning opportunities. In the absence of such mitigating factors, rewarding at this level de-motivates the person. The increments of returns are not worth pursuing, hence restricted efforts hovering below 100%.

Naturally the zero reward for efforts is the line of decency. You put in efforts but no rewards are forthcoming. A prime example in the area of finance is where the business asks for financial data. You spend hours preparing the data. They take it and use them for their presentations, analysis and whatever not. Do they ever credit you for it? Nope, it's part and parcel of the animal called business partnering. Oh well that's ok I supposed, so long I am not blamed when something goes wrong on the use of that data. The data is only as good as its source and the experience and know-how of the person interpreting it.

Any returns below this line goes into the realm of blasphemy. Sadly this is where I am at the moment, see Current. You can argue that the line should be above decency since I'm getting paid a monthly salary. But wait, I would get a salary likewise at another company. And the persons enjoying my efforts are drawing a salary as well. Hence it's a wash, a non consideration in terms of reward perceptions. A sad status to be, one which goes against every sense of logic and fairness.

On a brighter note, there are companies or periods in time where rewards goes above relative perception. I've had the good fortune of experiencing this once before. I was literally working 12-14 hours every other day and more frequently during project peak periods. I had blind commitment to the cause, not fazed by the hours required to get to the objective. Motivational commitment.

At the current company I suppose the commitment quadrant can be applied to the overpaid folks. As we are working towards outsourcing, the management must be worried that people would leave before we complete the migration. Hence they overpay to attract them to stay, or to prevent them from finding a corresponding job as their skills and scope cannot draw the same level of remuneration anywhere else. I call this coercive commitment.

So putting it all together forms the Pokpok Effort Reward Matrix. I should remove the green line since this is a very very rare occurrence. With any sense you would never give negative rewards since it may attract indiscriminate forms of retaliation from the disregard of decency. But I've left it there to illustrate the nonsense I'm getting and show that it does happen. They are lucky I'm not really the guerrilla suicide bomber that would take them down blindly. It's tiring to fight these corporate folks, you'll never win alone. And its a given loss in Singapore since we lack employment protection of any sorts. Tough luck Pokpok *shrugs*

If you plot the lines on a BCG product matrix, the current line takes the quarter of the Dog. Relative is your cash cow, the sweet spot you want. Exceptions are definitely your stars, they don't last forever but are special when they arise. Your norm is your typical question mark. It fluctuates depending on your circumstance. Drawing from this, my current job went from a question mark at the start to its current status as a Dog on its deathbed *growls. Hence the logical reaction is to minimise investment and source for exit strategy for Dog and redirect focus on the Cash Cow - Studies.  In the meantime I look for my next Star job. Logical deduction translating to logical action of leaving on the dot everyday. See, that wasn't so difficult to figure out huh.

Equating Rewards To Efforts - Part 1

Newton’s 3^rd Law – “To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction … “

Newton’s law is applied in the area of physics but if you think about it elementarily it is something we as humans have come to expect in the continuum of right and wrong. For every effort there is an equal reward. Naturally what constitutes equal is highly subjected to perceptions and wants. If it satisfies a need, it is a valued reward.

Just today I bumped into my boss in the lift as we are leaving the office.

Boss: “So Pokpok, how is your exam preparation coming along?”

(her eyes gaze towards the lappy and 2 piece printouts I was carrying)

Pokpok: “Ok, it’s still 2 months away.”

Boss: “So what subjects are you taking?”

Pokpok: “Risk and strategic management.”

Boss: “Oh that’s heavy for you.”

Pokpok: “It’s ok, I had to take six the last time around.”

(looks of bewilderment*) Boss: “Six? Why did you have to take six? When was this?”

(light bulb blinking in head**) Pokpok: “My modules are every half yearly. I had six during Jan to Jun.”

Boss: “Oh it’s half yearly? So why did they make you take six?”

(further looks of confusion with eyes darting to the ground in thought*) 

(fake smile) Pokpok: “There were two electives and they don’t have it every semester.”

Boss: “Ah I see …”

(cautious nods, coupled with brain trying to comprehend the situation*)

Thankfully at this time the lift open to my floor. I hastily bid a goodbye and walked off.

* The bewilderment – I’ve been leaving on the dot since end of Jun. I complete my contractual eight hours a day and off I go. She must have assumed it is because of my studies and exam commitments. So when she hears I actually have two this term and six when I was working long hours from Day1 to Jun, the whole paradox fell apart for her.

** An ‘ah-ha’ moment, discovering why she was looking weirdly at me as stated in *. Though it is a guess, I’m confident it is a good one.

The predicament – I am on improvement program after all the efforts in helping the company pass their internal audit, setup templates for audit and tax to ensure continuity, rework any of their processes for more efficiency, planned and execute the pilot outsource training for BPO project (the useless PM took my template and rolled it to every region), etc.

Passing the internal audit was no mean feat, given the hostile environment and utter incompetence from some of the folks here. They had already failed twice before they finally sought new members to tackle the problem. I had spent countless hours poring over the processes, streamlining and structuring them. I drove and implemented the changes which not only solved the control issues but also addressed the staff resource constraints. I can say with utmost conviction that I went extra miles, above and beyond what a normal accounting manager knows to do, to achieve the objectives. Yes I might have ruffled some feathers along the way but it was inevitable given the aggressive timeline. And the end result … a totally incommensurate return for my efforts. Full effort, negative rewards via punishment!!

The best part of this whole situation is that the improvement program is just a facade. The company prides itself in never retrenching or firing anyone with exception of fraud or gross misconduct. They hold dearly to this creed and rely on other means to make people leave. I joined the company last July and was to be confirmed in Jan. It wasn’t till mid March that I was told that I’m being put on the improvement program. The factors which they explain contributed to this state were a total distasteful sham. Despite the subsequent open discussions with boss and HR, my objections were not addressed. They even ignored my followup emails on the topic. They were hell bended on shoving me out.

We were in the midst of the internal audit when they told me about this and the outsourcing project came after that. Even though I was literally shafted, I still kept to my professional conduct and diligently did my best to help the team achieve the objectives. I pride myself on being a responsible person, building contingencies and even mitigating plans for my eventual departure. Every template or work product has procedures or someone copied so the team knows what to do in my absence.

In the same period between Jan to Jun I had six modules for my MBA and the going was tough. My grades suffered as I dedicated my time to work. In hind sight it was better to have focused on my studies. But if it were to happen again in another company, I might have done the same as I hold true to my professional esteem. I don’t regret giving my all to work even though the returns from studies would have been longer lasting. I’m stupid in that way. Though it is late, I've since wised up to the place. No more sacrifices.

"No good deed goes unpunished" - Clare Boothe Luce

So it’s been six months since my official entry into the improvement program. And there hasn’t been anything done on my status, I’m still on probation and the imaginary improvement program. There are no initiatives, training nor assistance to help me improve as part of the program. My boss acts as though nothing has happened. They are just waiting for me to leave to whitewash everything.

I wasn’t expecting any actions from their end, they are painfully inept in so many ways. It is plain as day and night that they have judged me to be someone to be rid of when the leaders promoted my chief antagonist. That has shown clearly they believe every word of complaint from the bitch and none of my responses. They are not the least bit interested in me, the sooner I leave the better.

At the back of my mind I've kinda always expected they would do this. You see, they have always kept information from me, not letting me know about the on-goings in the company. Till today I still do not have the access to view payroll data, unlike my direct report accountant. He is in the distribution on payroll for corporate together with my boss. Funny. And my scope involves mostly the transactional tasks which are to be outsourced. Any activity pertaining to the future state of finance business partnering is given to my counterpart FP&A manager. In essence that is correct since that's what FP&A managers do. However, certain bits like TP reporting and whatnot goes there too. To be fair the FP&A manager has constantly ask me to takeover the TP piece. But no I would not beg to do something. If it is meant for me, it should be boss handing it to me. And she should have done it off the bat and not now after it's been to someone else. I'm no longer your 'go-to when things go nasty' person. So it is not improbable that they had always intended to use me for the moment to get through the tough period and then discard once the objectives are met.

There are days when I've thought about quitting and be done with it. But then again, why give them the luxury of calling the shots? If I leave, I leave on my own terms. Why leave there and then, giving them time to look for a replacement before the year end? No, I'm not staying with retaliatory motives. I've been looking for a job since June but I won't short change myself simply to get away. I'll find a proper interesting role, one which hopefully doesn't involve grand scales of fail like this place. Also there is the consideration of my buddy FP&A manager. He is asking that I leave only next January. Nice chap, hate to disappoint him, but I'm still undecided. Anyways its hard right now with the slowing job market, so he might just get his wish.

So while waiting for that to happen, I'll fulfill the bare minimum of my obligations. Zombie through eight long hours of boringness a day (I'm involved in even lesser things now) and then off to meet Meimei. My day now starts when I leave the office.