Our First Born

She is everything we have been working hard for in the last 9 months. It's been extremely laborious for Meimei who had to endure all the backaches, kicks and discomforts to bring her into this world. And after a final long 29 hours, our baby girl has finally arrived!

We decided to try for a natural birth through induction on Monday night. So we admitted ourselves at the stroke of midnight and moved into the post-delivery wards to start the induction pills. Meimei took a dose at 1am and began our wait.

The first dose didn't seem to have any effect. Meimei didn't have more than her usual sporadic contractions or cramps. Nurses came to check on Meimei in the morning and found that her cervix is still close. So in pops the 2nd dose and the waiting continues. 

The regular 4-5 minutes contractions finally started at about 4pm. It's been 16 hours and we were relieved that it has come. We notified the nurse and were told to pack our essentials for more waiting at the pre-delivery ward. I quickly packed our iPads and phones, together with the jackets for warm and off we went. It felt like we were going for an excursion.

There was more waiting in the pre-delivery ward, though now we have to share the room with other pregnant mothers. Meimei was now strapped to a CTG machine which measured baby's heartbeat and monitored her contractions. You can tell the contractions are starting to hurt more with the anguish on her face.

Dr Loh arrived at 8pm and promptly examined her dilation. Hmmm only at 2cm ... we still have a ways to go. Out of the blue Doc said to the nurse, "Bring me the hook." What?! Before we knew what was going on, he broke Meimei's water bag. "Ok, I've just broke your water bag. I'm giving you 12 hours and I'll see you again at 8am tomorrow. If you still don't dilate to a good size, we will have to operate." Oops ... we were a little shocked after that but there was nothing we could do but wait.

And wait we did ... shortly after doc came, Meimei was wheeled into the delivery room. The anaesthetist came to administer the epidural to help ease the pain. We then settled into a night of rest and eager anticipation for baby to come. I was sleeping for the most part in the wee hours. It was only till about 4.30-5am that I woke to find two nurses working at the monitors. I thought they were here for the regular checks, as they did throughout the night.

But apparently that wasn't it. I could hear the monitors constantly beeping and sense something was amiss. I was to find out later that baby's heartbeat has been rising above the safe range of 120-140 bpm and have been at 180 odd for the past 15 minutes. Efforts to lower it by giving Meimei the happy gas didn't help. Our precious was in duress. 

As I try to figure what was happening, one of the nurse update that they have just called the doctor and they are going to perform an emergency caesarean for the safety of both mother and child. I could see the fear and worry in Meimei's eyes and tried to comfort her. But her only reply was that she wants baby to be safe.

As they wheeled her away to the operating room, I ran up to the room for a quick wash up. They are allowing me to enter the operating room too, which is rare as the policy was that fathers cannot be there when it is an emergency caesarean. I could even bring in a camera!

Excited as I was being able to join Meimei, I was even more worried when I saw that Dr Loh was here at 5.30am ... just 30 minutes after he was notified. It's a clear indication that baby was in danger. I could only sit and pray that Meimei and baby are ok.

The next part was captured in several secretly firmed video clips. I had a seat beside Meimei, watching intently and reassuring her that everything is ok while Dr Loh and his crew worked. My fixated gaze on Meimei was only broken when the cries of an infant filled the room.

I can't begin to describe the feeling I had when I first hear her cry. I think I was a little excited, a little stunned, a little in disbelief, and a little in awe that she is so beautiful. I had my eyes on her the whole time as the nurse carried her to a side desk to wash her up. She brought her over to Meimei shortly after so they can bond.

As the doctor and nurse finish up helping Meimei they led me away together with baby back to the pre-delivery ward for measurements. She weighs a healthy 2.855kg. We were then led back to the nursing wards while we wait for Meimei to arrive.

As I sat at the lobby waiting for Meimei, I felt an immense relief that Meimei was alright. Yes baby is fine too, but first and foremost my concern was on Meimei. She is my partner, my confident, my one and only that will walk with me through thick and thin to the day we part. 

We are happy to welcome our first born, Emily. And I write about the arduous labour just so she will know how much Meimei has gone through to bring her to this world. May there be many memories to come as we continue our lives now as a little family of three.

Meimei's Womb Is Too Comfortable!

Baby's EDD was yesterday 8th of March. She's late ... must be too comfortable in Meimei's womb. Meimei has been taking immaculate care of her tummy and diet so baby gets the best.

We were at Doc today and the scan showed only little pockets of fluid left in the womb. Doc gave us an ultimatum, the baby must come out before the end of the week. Any longer and baby may poop in the womb and intake her own feces which will land her in ICU. So we were given 2 options, either we induce and try natural birth or schedule a caesarean in the next few days.

Dr Loh is never one to directly instruct us to do something. He is usually happy going and reserved in his advice. But I can sense he is veering towards a caesarean ... I think it is because baby's head is still not down far enough to be engaged. We tried to ask for a more definite answer but the only comment he gave was that the worst case would be an emergency caesarean as it would cost a lot more. We would have the best chances to hit below $10k cost for the delivery if the inducement worked or we go for scheduled caesarean.

It was a tough news to take. We were practically so stunned about the news to make a decision. All I could muster was to ask Doc for time to think it through. A caesarean is very bad for Meimei's recovery so it was call that Meimei should make on her own. But she is confused as Dr Loh mentioned that caesarean was better for the baby, natural birth better for the mother. As a mother she wants what's best for Emily.

We had already been at the hospital for a CTG last Friday because baby didn't move much. It's really stressful for Meimei each day as we are fearful that baby may be in danger if she doesn't move. If we are to induce, I would like it to start tonight ... no sense in waiting anyways. I didn't say it outright to Meimei but I prefer that we induce, even if the chances to have natural birth is small.

Mochi's Friend

Mochi has a new friend who has taken residence on our bed. Introducing Pinku~!

Gynae Visit - 3rd March 2015

Another week and baby has not arrived. I couldn't go with Meimei but from the sounds of it, Dr Loh is also a little anxious that the baby has not arrived. He joked to Meimei that her 同班同学已经毕业了！

Baby is weighting a little more at 3.14kg. Then again its an estimate. I hear that the baby will usually weight lesser than the estimate when they arrive. Hopefully she comes soon ... we are anxiously waiting her arrival. I've been talking to Emily every night telling her that she has met all her KPIs. So its time to come out.

Doc warned that we have to closely monitor the baby's movement. If she moves less it is best we come in for a CTG scan. I'm still hoping baby will be fine and come as planned, close to the EDD.

Year of Goat at Changi T3

CNY decor very tastefully done at Changi T3.

Gynae Visit - 24th February 2015

Again I wasn't able to drive Meimei to the Gynae. But all is well, she has Mama to accompany her. We were apprehensive since the last appointment as Emily seemed to continue to be in a oblique position. We had tried to coax her to keep her head towards the bottom every night. Thankfully the ultra-sound looks ok and Dr Loh mentioned that she has her head down in the right position.

As we are now 2 weeks away from the EDD, Doc has now given Meimei the go-ahead to start walking and having papaya, bananas and coconut. She texted me the good news the moment she was out of his office. She was all glee that her controlled food regime is finally over and she can enjoy anything she likes now.

Emily also had a stunning photo shoot. Look at the picture, she's already smiling at us. How can you resist such a cutie? Oh and look at those puffy cheeks ... I so want to pinch them! You can tell she takes after Meimei, which is definitely a good thing.

I'm glad Emily's coming nicely. At 2.8kg she is still a little lighter than we hope. Maybe another week and she'll get to a nice 3-3.2kg. We are at the last lap, fingers crossed, we will welcoming our sweet little one in the next week or so.

Rocka-by Baby

I never thought they would keep it for all these years. They had my baby crib stashed deep in the old cupboard and finally whipped it out 30 odd years later for our baby. The paint job needs a little retouch but other than that it's working perfectly. You can even release a catch at the side so the bed can sway like a swing.

This is a relic you might now only find in retro furniture stores. No one makes it this way anymore. I'm sure it will fetch a good price in the 2nd hand antique market. But well there's no way I'm selling it ... imagine keeping this another 30 years for our children's babies. Now that would be something to behold.

Dad fondly recalls Mama sitting beside the crib and rocking me to sleep when I was a baby. Emily will get to use it when she comes over to Hillview to see Grandpa and Grandma. Now we just need to find a bed that fits the frame.

Gynae Visit - 17th February 2015

We have finally reached week 37 and into the full term zone. Since I just started a new job I couldn't take leave to accompany Meimei to the gynaecologist. This is the first appointment I've missed. But that's ok, there are many people who fuss over her. Meimei's Dad and Mami went with her, everyone's worried about baby not gaining any weight.

Thankfully there is some weight gain, baby looks to have gained about 300-400g in the past week. I suppose the durian helped :-) Her head is still not at the right position though there has been some improvement as it's no longer facing up at the lungs. Let's hope she will continue to shift downwards.

Meimei kinda deduced that the lack of weight gain might be due to the slice of lemon she has been adding to her water bottle. The lemon helped to keep her slight cold in check but since she stopped baby looks to have grown. Well nothing is conclusive, just guesswork really. At 2.8kg she is still a little light, let's hope she grows a little more 肉肉 in the coming week.

Gynae Visit - 9th February 2015

This was a stressful visit. We were eagerly waiting to see Emily again. But we didn't get a picture this time. Dr Loh was concerned with baby's progress that he ordered a CTG scan, which showed nothing out of the ordinary, thankfully.

Meimei hasn't gain any weight since the last visit and baby didn't either. She is still estimated to be 2.3kg like a fortnight ago. That doesn't seem right. Meimei has been eating regularly and nothing special has changed in her diet except a craving for hot milk tea. What could be causing this? We may need to start Meimei on durians soon.

Besides baby's weight Dr Loh was concerned about her positioning. She is at Meimei's 2 o'clock so her head is on the wrong side. Doc joked that baby must have been leaning to the side since my voice is there whenever I chat with her. True, I sleep on Meimei's right ... Ok so going forward I'm gonna face Meimei's crotch when we have our nightly chitchat before bedtime.

We have about a month to go before EDD. I'm hoping Emily turns to the right position soon. If not Doc is gonna insist on a Cesarean which we are hoping against hope it doesn't happen. The operation would take a lot out of Meimei. So we are coaxing Emily constantly to get her into the right position.

We are almost there, baby just needs to be a more patient. I think she'll meet one of her KPIs to come after CNY. But whatever the case may be, the primary concern is that she is healthy. Everything else is secondary. So baby, please put on more weight and get into the correct position and we will meet in another few weeks yah? I know you are excited to meet us just as we are to see you *muach!

Butter Fingers

We had bought new iPhones recently. Meimei is now using the iPhone 6. I traded in my Wifi-incapable iPhone 5 for a iPhone 6 Plus. We were glad to be rid of it. Now to see if we can trade off our iPhone 4. Apple is no longer providing support for the 4 and it can only be updated to iOS 7. Soon it won't be able to update or install any new apps. We'll see how that goes.

So anyways I've been using the 6plus for less than a month when it decided to make a suicidal dive this morning. I was putting down the backpack on the backseat of the car while juggling the water bottle and phone. Out of the blue the phone took a zero pointer olympic dive off my butter fingers. While diving,  it brushed off its flip cover and hit the stepping bar on the car before landing face down on the ground.

My heart sank the moment it dropped. Like when you see a diving champ dismount from a platform but accidentally hitting his head on the edge of the platform and then landing flat into the water ... You let out a grimace as you watch it happen. So thats pretty much what happened with my phone. We had plastered a tempered glass on the phone but there is a 3mm curve edge which the glass couldn't cover. And freakishly that part hit the car.

So instead of the tempered glass cracking on the impact the phone glass did instead. Argghhhh! My heart was filled with anguish and despair at the sight of the cracked screen. It quickly turned into anger and self resentment as I cursed my own clumsiness. This is a new phone!! How can I be so careless??!! Damn it! And why did the flip turn out?! ...

Thankfully Meimei was cool and calm about it while I complained incessantly over the phone about my own stupidity. She pointed that we had bought the phone replacement insurance just for such an unfortunate incident. It's cold comfort though as it still cost $160 to replace ... and more than likely it's a refurbished set rather than a newly minted one.

Well lesson learned. No more flip covers for Mr Jelly Hands. Meimei suggest I get a Ottoman but the 6plus is already big ... I rather it doesn't become a iPad Mini wanna-be. Sigh ... Stupid stupid stupid (bangs head on wall).

Bursting Through The Dark Clouds

Taking things as they come. Do what you can and leave the rest to fate. Pleasantly surprised and glad that things turn out great for the last 6-9 months. 船到桥头自然直. True be told, it wasn't like there were many options. I was stuck in a rut and couldn't break free of the slump. So reflecting back on it all, I'm grateful all that has happened, the many lessons I've learned and the people that contributed to make it what it was. 

I had stopped working since November '13. The year and half before that was plain crappy. Almost everyone I met at the workplace, except a rare few, were the nastiest beings in the world ... Pure Scum. I have nothing but contempt and utter disgust for those degenerates. The time there was one of the lowest point in my life.

The next months after November was spent searching for a job. It was a fruitless search as I was called for only a handful for interviews. There was one with a local telco which was promising, they were ready to make an offer, but it was derailed when they did a reference check with my last manager. The bitch gave them a bad assessment of my performance which was a plain lie and totally unjustified. I was totally depressed when told of what had transpired.

Thankfully in that time I had my MBA project to keep me occupied. We were also going for regular checkups in hope of getting a baby. I think my sanity was saved with my focus redirected on other important targets. My only regret was that I wasn't more prudent with my savings. I was spending as if I still had a job. Well it wasn't all bad, I am more than happy to spend on the doctor bills and will do so again without hesitation. It was the best money spent. But I could have cut down on other expenses. Well, it is a good lesson to takeaway from the whole situation. 

July brought good news with our baby. But at the same time Meimei was retrenched so finances were further strained. I think the point where the direness of situation really hit me was when Meimei told me that she might go into post natal depression if I was still jobless when the baby comes. That really hit me hard ... But in a good way. For the first time in my life I felt helpless with my predicament. I will always remember this as a sounding board.

So with an impending commitment  I adjusted my expectations. It was now a 'Lets take anything that comes my way' situation. So with that came a 6 months fixed term contract with a logistic company just a short drive from home. I took a large 40% pay cut but beggars can't be choosers. It did however came with better hours, less commitments and great flexibility at official work hours of 25 hours a week.

So the months from August became a breeze. I was able to pack lunch for Meimei everyday as she rested at home for the first trimester. After that she found a job with an incredible company which took her on even though she was going on maternity. I was able to drive her everyday to-and-fro work due to my flexible hours. I also had the luxury to take leave days to attend every gynae appointment since work was slow paced and sporadic.

The folks I met at the place were nice too. I guess it was due in part to the fact that I was there only as a backup plan for one of the analyst. It was strictly a 6 month stint with no extensions. I didn't have to manage anyone and wasn't there to run any projects or take anyone's job. So everyone was nice to me since I'm simply just another guy there to help out and not vying for their jobs. Oh and it didn't hurt that I was driving out to the hawkers for lunch everyday. They were happy to hitch a ride.

So the last 6 months went by smoothly. Work was boring but gave me zero stress. My last day was on Friday. They had treated me to a farewell lunch, I can't remember the last time anyone treated me to a proper one. I think I might miss this sorta life style. You don't get paid as much but you gain other luxuries like time and lesser stress. But well I don't have the time to continue reminiscing because something is right around the corner.

A fortnight ago a recruiter contacted me for a SAP project role. I had applied for it before I started my recent role but didn't get it. They have come back to me again as the incumbent who took the role last October has been swarmed by the the mountain of deliverables. She has been working till 10-11pm everyday and so they were looking for another lead to lessen her burden.

Ok so long story short, I got the role and it starts tomorrow. It's a one year contract and pure project work which is what I have been hunting for since November '13. The only downside is the hours ... It looks like its gonna be a tough role to fulfil. And they are not paying any more than the one I left in November. But hey, this might be a good stepping stone to further my opportunities in finance transformation roles and the money definitely doesn't hurt with a baby coming soon.

The last couple of months have been a breeze and I hope it continues to blow my way. It looks like the dark clouds are dissipating but I am still cautious. There are rays of sunshine now and I know I'll have to work hard to keep it going. So here's to the next year of better days .... Huat Ah!!

Chinese Names Stump Me

We have chosen Emily for our baby's English name. We love the name. It's sweet, happy and fits well with Pokpok's surname.

The hard part is the Chinese name. We asked Dad and Mum about our family 家谱, and it seems we don't have one. My dad and my generation names were conjured up by my grandpa. I suspect there might be one in China but we've never been there. I vaguely recall Dad saying that my grandparents names are craved in the ancestral temple in China because they donated some monies for the temple. But still it may have been a hoax and the money siphoned off by cunning distance relatives.

So coming to the next generation, we are left to our own devices to come up with a classy elegant Chinese name for our baby. The big problem I have is that I'm very bad at Chinese. I've not studied it since secondary school. Even though I scored better at it, I got a B4 for Chinese versus C6 for English, my command of my mother-tongue language is sorely lacking.

Hence it has come to be that I'm now in an 'approver' role. My parent-in-law and sister-in-law have excellent grasp of the language and have been brainstorming for names over the past few months at our request. They have shortlisted some and ran them with me to see my preference.

憬 jǐng。憧憬 chōng jǐng - 对美好事物的向往 / Looking forward to a bright future. This is the prime candidate for the 2nd character. It works well with my surname 巫 wū which is 第一声. And with it comes a whole suite of 3rd characters for both boys and girls.

Girl: 憬芊jǐngqiān，憬萱jǐngxuān，憬琪jǐngqí，憬曦jǐngxī，憬蓉jǐngróng
Boy: 憬阳jǐngyáng，憬浩jǐnghào，憬涛jǐngtāo

I'm liking the 憬 jǐng variants a lot at the moment. Its not set yet but these names are the most promising. We briefly looked at 芷 zhǐ which also sounds great with 巫 but for now, 憬 jǐng takes top spot.

Gynae Visit - 26th January 2015

The visits to our Gynecologist are becoming more frequent as we approach the last lap. We are at week 34 now and Meimei's belly has grown significantly. She has been eating diligently in hopes that baby will catch up on the weight. I know sometimes she has to force herself to eat even when she feels full.

This week we had a little chat with Emily while we were waiting for our turn. She had covered her mouth in the last appointment so we asked her to give us a good pose today. She obediently obliged and gave us a good view. Even Dr Loh was commenting that Emily is very 'guai', let us see her. *kiss good job Emily!

She is making good progress at 2.3kg this week. Dr Loh is a little concerned about the position of her hands though with signs of compound presentation. Hopefully she will move into a better position when the time comes. We'll gonna find pictures of proper positioning to show her so she knows what the right posture should be for normal safe delivery.

Year of Goat Mints

Lovely mints for the year of the Goat. They make great gifts too for the new babies coming this year.

She Hears Me

They say babies can hear their parents when they are in mummy's womb. Meimei chats with her all the time throughout the day. I try to chat with Emily every night before bed. I tell her about my day, what I had for lunch, where we were for dinner, etc.

I like to tell her to be patient and stay in the safety of Meimei's tummy and only come out when we are close to EDD in early March. Chinese New Year is a few weeks before Emily's EDD so I'm confident she'll arrive as a 小MehMeh. Dad says he likes a goat grand baby, they are elegant and classy. We bought a cute goat theme trinket in anticipation of her arrival.

I think Emily hears me whenever we chat. She'll give light punches and kicks when she hears my voice. I can feel her tapping when I put my hands on Meimei's tummy and speak to her. I suppose this is the start of the bedtime rituals where I would read nursery stories to put her to bed. I'm truly looking forward to these tender moments with our little one.