Finding The Help

Having completed the orientation course last week, the next step was to setup a meeting with a maid agency. It's the first time we were getting a maid so we really don't know what to expect. My parents used to have a maid but that was donkey years ago. And at the time I didn't have to bother with the maid since my parents were managing her. So now that we are getting one of our own, the only criteria we had to start with was that we wanted an Indonesian so Mama can communicate with her.

The first step was then to look for a maid agency specialising in Indonesian FDWs. However I've always had a bad vibe about maid agencies. I have the weird feeling that they are out to con prospective clients. It's baseless but I can't help but feel this way. So thankfully Meimei's ex-boss had recommended her agency so we are more assured that we might be able to find the maid. Her ex-boss has been getting her maids from the agency and all were pretty reliable and good. I wouldn't know where to start if we were to look for an agency on our own. 

We were asked to come on a Sunday as they had two transfer maids whom we can interview on the spot. We have a couple of advice not to take transfer maids since they are known to be more 'experienced' in the wayward ways. However I believe its all about fate and luck. Sure, transfer cases usually throw up maids who are less than perfect ... it's likely the very reason they are on transfer. But I believe getting a freshie is just as risky since you are relying solely on the bio data provided by the agency. For transfers you get to meet them face to face for interviews where you can get a 'feel' for the personality and fit.

The first maid we interviewed has been with her employer for two years. She has just renewed in September and is now on her second stint. Her employer is a Muslim family so she doesn't know how to cook any Chinese dishes. That's ok Mama can teach her to cook. She doesn't speak English but I suppose that's ok since she is likely to be taking instructions from Mama and Meimei who can converse with her in Bahasa. I like that she is currently looking after a toddler and a newborn. This is a top priority as she needs to know how to care for our baby. Anything else we can teach but if she doesn't know how to hold our baby properly, that is a very big concern for me since she might injure our little girl and the consequences can be pretty dire. 

Her reason for seeking a new employer is rather odd though. She states in her bio data form that her current employer has her making 800 curry puffs from 6pm to midnight daily. And we understand from the agency owner that the employer doesn't compensate her for it. Ahhh ok, so if her current employer had paid her just a little, she might have been ok with the extra chore? Well whatever it is, getting her to make curry puffs for sale is illegal. There is no way to verify the truth of the matter so we can really only rely on what the maid says.

After trying to find out her daily routine and chores, we shared a little about ourselves. She seemed pretty concerned she has to go to Mama's place during the day while Meimei and I are at work. Plus when the baby comes we definitely want her at Mama's place so our baby has an elder to look after her. I'm not comfortable leaving the maid at home or entrust her with our baby without any supervision. So any candidate we select would have to be fine with the arrangement. I think she is afraid that she may have to work for both families. But that's not gonna happen. If she knew us, she would know we are pretty lay back and reasonable.

Anyways we ended the interview with the agency owner asking her to think about it. We made sure we got the message across that she has every right to choose and shouldn't simply say yes as an easy way to get out of her current predicament.

The next candidate is a very experienced maid. She has been working in Singapore for the past decade and can speak in English fluently. However I have strong concerns with her willingness to look after newborn infants as she has not been caring for crying babies since eight years ago when she joined her current employer. Her employer's children were in their teens when she joined and now they are all young adults. She is seeking for a new employers as her current one no longer needs a maid since the children are now working during the day.

Her reaction was somewhat the same as the first maid when we shared our situation. She was skeptical when she hears that we are going to have a baby. She answered that she is willing to look after newborns but I saw a twitch in her right eye and figured she was not honest in her response. I find her a little too 'smart' and quick-witted for my liking. She seems less genuine as a person than the first maid. So I tried to make sure she is prepared by reiterating the pressures she has to face in judging household chores while looking after a baby. Meimei told me later that I was being very fierce and scaring her off.

So having met the two transfer maids, we were given a selection of bio data files for fresh maids. The owner had a thick bundle of files but after filtering through the profiles, she only had a handful who have indicated that they are comfortable to look after infants. It seems most are unwilling to look after babies. It's really hard to judge based solely on the written profiles. I've heard horror stories of maids who arrive looking totally different from the picture on the profiles and possessing none of the experience nor preference as those stated.

While we were mulling over the profiles, the owner came in with news that the second maid we interviewed has just been confirmed by another employer. It seems the employer who saw her earlier was looking for a maid for her aged parents. So given a choice, the maid chose to look after elderly rather than babies. I quietly breathed a sign of relief at the news. Meimei also seemed happy that she doesn't have a dilemma of choosing between the two.

None of the other profiles interest us and so the owner offered to send us bio profiles as she receives them. She claims to have a constant stream of maids and receives new transfer cases weekly. It was at this moment that the first maid came back into the room. She express her interest to the owner in Indonesian and after some conversation it seems she is ready to take on our offer. I found out later from Meimei that the owner reminded her of our circumstances of having to be at Mama's place since she showed her reluctance during the initial interview. Her response to her concern was "Got baby ok".

Ting~ting~ting. Great! Looks like she likes babies! Which can only be good for our baby. So that's it, we affirm our interest in hiring her and proceed to complete the paperwork. She'll be coming in January before the baby arrives so she can familiarize with the household chores.

I have a good feeling about her. She's a little older than us, so I hope she can treat us like her younger siblings and look after us sincerely. I supposed we can only cross our fingers and hope for the best!

Pretty Rainbow Cake

Pretty yes, tasty ... doubtful. Reminds me of the childhood candy that goes popping in your mouth. Too sweet.

Pre-Natal Classes - Week 4 : Breastfeeding

It's all about breastfeeding and baby carrying positions this week. We were shown videos on the various positions to breastfeed a baby, how to position the baby's mouth so she can properly suckle without hurting Mommy. I'm surprised there are so much knowledge to be learned on breastfeeding alone. Always have this simple idea that putting the baby to the breast would suffice and everything will happen naturally.

I enjoyed the baby carrying exercises as I have no clue whatsoever and have this mortal fear I would injure our baby. We were each given a baby doll to practice with but they were a little freaky with half opened blue eyes. I wondered if they could have made the dolls cuter to attract parents to play with them.

There are no longer new exercises to help Meimei with her back. We'll just have to work on those we already know. The lessons are now a little more boring without the stretching exercises.

Pre-Natal Classes - Week 3 : Labour

The scare meter has hit the roof! Full frontal graphic video of childbirth via various methods. And there is no censorship at all ... clear in-your-face clips of baby's head popping out of a mother's tummy.

Lecturer warned us to look away or go for a coffee break if we cannot take it. i watched the whole clip ... partly because I was shocked stiff. And I think it showed on my face too. Meimei sat through it as well and I'm worried this may have re-ignited her fear of the pain in having a baby. The pain and anguish on each mother's face is telling of the magnitude of pain they are going through. I'm just hoping the joy and contended looks after the baby is born is enough to convince Meimei of the happy side of the delivery process.

I can't quite remember the rest of the session after the video. It has left me shell-shocked and basically clouded my mind for the rest of the class. I vaguely recall our teach using a prop to show us how a baby's head and shoulders will turn and twist as they come out. I found it surprising that the baby will instinctively know to turn to get out. I suppose nature right there.

Going back to the videos, I guess it was for the better that we saw them now so we know what to expect when the actual thing happens. Imagine fainting in the delivery ward and missing the birth of my firstborn. Nope that's not going to happen now that I'm mentally prepared ... I hope >.<"

Close One Eye

With baby coming, we have started brainstorming on the baby care plans. Meimei has secured a confinement lady so the most immediate need is taken care of for the first month. My in-laws will be over too to help to I'm sure Meimei will get the best care during her maternity. And if things at work don't pan out, I might be at home to help.

To make sure Meimei and baby gets the best care and to help out my mother-in-law after Meimei's maternity, we have decided to employ a maid. Meimei did all the research and the first step was to obtain a Foreign Domestic Worker Employer Orientation Programme certificate.

Ok that shouldn't be too difficult. I was tasked to complete it since Meimei isn't keen on taking tests. The course is pretty informative and useful. The quiz were straightforward and I breezed through most of it. There was one that stumped me though. I'm pretty sure I have the most sensible answer but the e-course keeps prompting that I have the wrong answer refuse to let me move onward.

Apologies with the lousy pic, the questions goes like this.

Question: A good way to maintain your FDW's job performance is

• To show her again how to do a chore correctly when she makes a mistake
• To deprive her of her day off when she makes a mistake as a prevention for future mistakes
• To reprimand her immediately when she is not doing a chore right
• To overlook her small mistakes

Simple question, which answer would you choose? As a responsible employer you should be patient and show your maid how to do a chore correctly yeah? How else can you maintain her job performance? It's cruel and possible illegal to withhold her off days. And reprimanding her would only sour the relationship. So ... yeah teaching her again makes most sense.

But! ... I got the wrong answer. No, you are not suppose to show her how to do it correctly. You are expected to ... Overlook her small mistakes!!! Damn! What crap is this?!! How is that the most appropriate answer? So our government mandated training course serves to teach employers to close one eye to everything? How is this helping both parties is beyond me. What were they thinking?

Everyone I shared the question with came to the same answer as I did. So I can only say that the folks that prepare this question is very wrong. I'm not going to close an eye. I'll be patient and teach her over and over again if I have to. Sadly I had to choose the 'correct' answer before the e-course allowed me to proceed to the end of the quiz for my certificate. Oh well, it's another one for the "What were they thinking?!" book.

Bakerzin Revival

Regular Bakerzin customer but stop patronizing half a year ago due to yucky Carbonara on the last trip. Give it a try today ... it's a dining option again. Glad it's back, the Strawberry Shortcake has always been to die for.

Gynae Visit - November 2014

This week marks the 26th week of pregnancy. We were excited to see our baby again. Dr Loh produced a 3D imaging this time which kind of freaked us out a bit haha. He described it as "yah right now all will look like alien ..." followed by a light smile. I've truncated the image so readers will not be taken aback by it.

I recalled our parenting lecturer's talk on inverted or low placenta and asked Dr Loh about it. He have a quick and assured ok, so yeah mother and baby are healthy and Meimei can continue to exercise. These days he seems aloft and nonchalant about us. I suppose no news is good news when it coms to pregnancy.

He wasn't too keen though when we asked if the "Bom Bom" sound from Baby-plus would affect our baby. We took his cue and will stop the daily lessons immediately.

Overall it was an uneventful appointment except when we were hearing our baby's heartbeat through the ultrasound. It's always comforting to hear it as it signifies a healthy baby. I've been videoing every ultrasound (when Doc lets me) for keepsake and sharing with family. It's good for reminiscence someday hehe.

Pre-Natal Classes - Week 2 : Pain Relief

This week's topic is on pain relief. This is an important topic for us since Meimei has low tolerance for pain. I think the most common method we've heard of is Epidural, which is an injection of painkillers into the spinal cord to numb the lower body. As the medication delivery is invasive, there is always an underlying fear of complications or side effects like nerve damage. Most articles I've come across on the internet says it is low risk, but I'm still skeptical.

We were shown a video on the various pain relief options such as TENS, Entonox (Meimei calls it the laughing gas), Pethidine, Epidural, Water delivery etc. It's useful to know the variety of pain relief options. I was tickled by the image of a pregnant lady sucking on the mouth piece delivering the Entonox gas. It looks somewhat like a druggy getting her fix!

We had a brief review of week one's topic on food, though I can't recall much of it now. The one thing I did remember, because it was somewhat disgusting, was the discussion on placenta and how some would preserve it to make pills or soup. It's an old chinese medicinal practice but I really can't see Meimei or myself drinking a placenta soup ... Eeeee, just thinking about it makes me want to puke. Thankfully the class didn't dwell too long on this topic.

For the exercise segment, we expanded on the angry cat exercise to extended cat. Meimei didn't take to this since she was already not keen on angry cat to begin with. The activity that Meimei liked though was the basic shoulder & hand rub, which happens to require hubby to administer. Hahah. Her face literally light up and soften as I gently rub her little palms. I can foresee nightly should and hand massages for my dearest honey!

Pre-Natal Classes - Week 1 : Foods

I've been meaning to sign up for parenting classes since the start of the pregnancy. I've envisioned fun sessions with Meimei as we try out the exercises and baby care. I see it as a good couple activity and bonding opportunity. The classes didn't disappoint, with a mix of lectures and exercise workouts. Although there were parts that were boring, the overall experience is worth the expensive course fee. It came up to about $350 for five two-hour sessions.

It is comforting to see that there are many other parents just as 'clueless' as me who have signed up to learn. Surprisingly every dad was there to accompany their wive though I suspect some may not be there willingly *grin judging from the aloofness and silence with their wives. Also a clear tell-tale sign is their long focused attention on their mobile phones rather than the lessons. I, for one, am enjoying the course and taking in as much as I can.

This week is the first sessions so the logistics took a little longer. I like how the lecturer offered her personal mobile number so mothers can Sms her anytime to ask about any pre/post natal queries. I applaud her for that as it really gives mothers a sense of comfort. It takes a truly caring person to offer such follow-on free consultations outside the classroom.

So the sessions are vaguely broken into 2 segments. First is the lecture where she will show us a video, followed by a slide presentation. The other part of the session involves exercises to stretch and soothe the aching muscles.

Food is the topic for the week. It's the usual advice you would hear from your gynaecologist. Avoid raw food, eat lots of fibre and take your vitamins and supplements. Interestingly she mentioned that the omega-3 pills are actually meant for the mother, to lower the risk of post-natal depression. I always thought it was for the baby to help with brain development but glad that it is helping Meimei as well. Other little titbits include her experience with some mothers that cannot take chinese supplements such as ginseng and bird nest.

The lecturer also surveyed the room on the type of foods that mothers like and it seems Meimei's odd craving to laksa is not uncommon. A few mothers shared that they crave for curry, spicy food, maggi mer and even cold drinks. The most regular response though is fried and junk food. Meimei seem to have wean off most of the initial cravings and is back to eating the healthy foods.

The highlight of the sessions, at least for me, are the exercises. I think Meimei needs these badly to help her with her back. And it seems backaches are a common ailment during pregnancy. You can see the increased attention and knowingly nods as the lecturer describes the back pains.

I find the pelvis raise and angry cat to be most useful. Fathers were encouraged to join in the exercises so you get a feel of the muscles stretched and can help your wife with them.

Another key takeaway is the recommendation to use 2 pillows for the head and to put a pillow between the thighs when sleeping. This helps to keep the spine straight as you lie on the side. Amazing how simple things like that can make sleeping easier for Meimei.

I'm looking forward to next week's lesson, especially for more exercises and tips to make the pregnancy as comfortable for Meimei as it can be.

Idiot Drivers - Reversing Without Checking Rearview Mirror

Its been many months since we encountered the lady that reversed into our car in the Vivocity carpark. And that incident prompted me to finally get an in-car camera to catch errant drivers red handed.

Today we encountered another one who reversed into our car. And similar to the lady he had the audacity to claim that there is nothing wrong. He initially said: "There is nothing wrong with your car, you have my car plate right. That's it." And he turned and wanted to go off. He knew he was at fault but wanted to play it down and run off scot-free. Well I wasn't gonna let him off, especially when he was not the least bit remorseful nor apologetic. Not a single 'sorry'. I refuse to let him go and insist that he give me his contact number. I wouldn't have been so persistent if he had been more polite. But his nonchalant attitude and pig face really irked me.

I hope the new amendment to the Road Traffic Act gets passed. Section C includes "drivers will also be responsible to provide their particulars to the owner of any vehicle or structure that is damaged following an accident, even in situations where there is no other person present". This will help to deter idiots like this fella from trying to get away after causing an accident. Ah-pueee! Own a WRX but cannot drive. When it gets passed, he can jolly well run off ... I'll just report it as a hit and run? Good for him!

Of Aching Backs and Kung Fu Kicks

Pregnancy is tough. You are drained both physically and mentally. And it is not something you could just stop or switch off. Once you are in it, you are in for the long haul. I suppose my role as hubby is to help soothe her aches and pains. And if I can help her emotionally, even better.

Backaches

I'll just say straight off I cannot even begin to imagine the physical pains Meimei goes through. As her tummy grows, so do the backaches. I give her a massage every night to loosen her tense back and shoulder muscles to help her get into a comfortable position for sleep. But she is a light sleeper and I'm pretty sure she has been waking up consistently from the aches. I've asked her many times to wake me up for a rub when she feels stiff but she never did, or at least I was unaware if she ever did (I'm a heavy sleeper). I know she tries not to disturb me *kiss she likes to pamper me too. But still ... I would like to have woken up to make her bedtime more bearable.

I'm hoping the next half of the pregnancy isn't going to strain her back any more than it already is. I think her slightly crooked back is compounding the problem. I'm crossing my fingers in hopes that the pregnancy will fix the back. My father-in-law describe that the body and bone movements will help to move the joints and organs back to its original position, kinda like a reset button. I pray she turns out for the better after giving birth.

Kung Fu Kicks

Given the diva our baby is, when she wants something she throws tiny little punches and kicks at Mommy. If Meimei has an early dinner, baby will nudge her when we are close to bedtime and Meimei wouldn't be able to sleep till she has a snack. It happens pretty often, especially 2-3 hours after a meal. I envy the closeness and eternal bond Meimei has with our little one. Meimei keeps me updated on baby's movement so I'm not left out. I really appreciate it, because its something I'll never get to experience, but by telling me about it helps to bring us closer.

I think every husband must appreciate the sacrifice your wife goes through to bring a child into this world. It is as much an engaging process for the hubby and we have a lot to contribute to the journey. I know I have to try harder to read up on the various pregnancy-related stuff so I can contribute more. I just need a big kick up the bottom to get going!

Gynae Visit - October 2014

Today's the standard detailed ultra-sound scan. It's a longer session today  since they were doing the various measurements of the baby, like the diameter of the head, the arc and length of the nose bridge etc. Baby's at 20 weeks now so you can make out whether it's a girl or boy. We already knew but were nonetheless excited and relieved to hear that our baby growing normally and healthy. That's always the news you wanna hear. She was very cooperative during the scan, giving good poses for the ultra-sound. There were couples who entered earlier and took close to 2 hours. Our baby finished her 'catwalk' in 40 minutes :-) She's a diva!

The slight downside of today's visit was that we didn't a chance to have a video of the ultra-sound and hear our baby's heartbeat. The ultra-sound tests were done in a special room on the 4th floor. And when we were at Dr Loh's later, he didn't do one since we already had it earlier.

Since we are now officially into the 2nd trimester, Dr Loh put it plainly with a grin, "Go enjoy your 2nd trimester ah, you can what you want, don't worry. When you come to 3rd trimester then the aches and pains will come."

Woot! So looking forward to next month's visit as always.

Speeding? Stitch? Are You Sure?

I received a summons from the traffic police today saying that I was speeding on the morning of 15th Oct on Upper Change Road East just in front of the Expo. They referred to a lamppost 44 which is just under the overhead bridge. Now the silly thing is that the overhead bridge is just a short distance from the junction. And the light is always red when you turn to the junction from Simei Street.

Google Maps 2014

So it's really hard to believe that I can accelerate with Stitch to go from 0 to 81 kmph in a short 200m (see red line in pic and gauge with the bottom legend). Not sure what the traffic police was smoking that morning but clearly something was faulty with the equipment. I have to drive on the centre lanes these days on the expressway because Stitch no longer has the horsepower to overtake cars on the right ... and to say I was speeding is just plain dumb.

But what can I do? Nothing, this is Singapore. So I'll just have to suck it up and pay the $150 fine and take the 6 Demerit points. Bah ...

Spam Chips at Southwest Tavern

I cannot believe spam can taste this good. Amazing find courtesy of Lao Da.

What's A Good Name For My Girl?

Pokpok's surname is Bxx (masked for privacy). Yes ... Bxx. It's one of those rare and weird surname translated from the original Chinese one, X.

So now that we know it's a girl we can start to shortlist a beautiful name for her. One which we hope she would grow into and love. As I brainstormed, a few other funny ones popped up and tickled me to no end. She would hate me for life if we ever give her any of these. Others just don't sound right with the surname. I think its a big challenge to find any that goes well with Bxx. Hopefully our little girl will like the one we chose for her. There are so many to choose from ... Here is my top picks.

Agnes - This is a toss-up. Agnes is a nice name, think Agnes from the Despicable Me cartoon. I love the name, but ... Agnes B is the name of a fashion accessory brand. So ... KIV for now

Emma - Has a nice string to it, Emma Bxx. Great for a little girl but I wonder if it will suit when she gets older.

Emily - This is my top choice as of writing. Goes well with our surname. I think 3 syllabus names might work better.

Felicia - The few Felicia I've met are very pleasant people. A classy name.

Megan - I find it very lady and refined. Meimei thinks it reminds her of Megan Fox ... So I suppose it's never gonna be this.

Sarah - The name gives me a very homely, obedient girl vibe.

Now, for my top 'No way, please~' name, I present to you ...

Pika or Peeka - This would be just plain mean, straight up. You know how people like to go 'peekabxx!' at a baby to make them laugh? Yeah imagine the horror of being constantly taunted for life *shivers

I'm sure Meimei has a better idea of the right name. She came up with many of the good names here, the goofy ones are mine haha. So which would you pick for Pokpok's daughter?